Jonnie & Sandra

Announcement

2007-04-14T18:30:00.000-07:00

Our favorite alley cat, Tiggi, has been welcomed to the household:

Stanley Wood Greets Tiggi.
After the vet pronounced Tiggi free of any contagious diseases and determined him a non- health hazard to Stanley Wood, we decided it would be ok to intervene on his behalf. He has since had his ears cleaned (which is cat lady jargon for receiving his vaccinations) and after one week of Sandra's special cat diet, his missing fur patches are already growing back.

The length of his stay here is as yet uncertain; but for the present time, he is boarding here as Jonnie's & Sandra's welcome guest.

Feel free to say "Hi" in the comments and we Sandra will read them to him.

***

EDIT:

Jonnie and Tiggi

Tiggi and Mr Stanley Wood taking a nap on the bed

The Great Anna Nicole Smith Bandana Swindle

2007-03-29T06:02:00.000-07:00

On our last day in Germany, Anna Nicole Smith (ANS) was finally buried and we both thought it was about time.

You can say what you want about ANS's flakiness, which was always immensely enjoyable; but really, she didn't seem to have a bad bone in her body. Jonnie and Sandra both enjoy ANS interviews and we both lamented her sudden death.

On our flight back to America, Sandra stumbled across this photograph in a German gossip magazine -

ANS with Bandana.
The bandana ANS is wearing in this photograph matches a bandana recently purchased by Jonnie at a Santa Ana 99 Cent Only store -

Jonnie with ~~Same~~ Bandana.
On our drive home from work a few weeks ago, Jonnie turned down the radio and suddenly initiated the following dialog -

Jonnie: Hey! Guess what I'm going to do?
Sandra: What??
Jonnie: I'm going to sell my bandana on eBay as Anna Nicole Smith's bandana!
Sandra: You can't do that!
Jonnie: Why not??
Sandra: It's fraud!
Jonnie: No it isn't!
Sandra: It is too!!
Jonnie: A lot of stuff on eBay is fraudulent.
Sandra: Yes, but you don't want to be a fraud too.
Jonnie: I'm not a fraud, I just want to sell that bandana.
Sandra: Well, you can sell the bandana, you just can't claim it belonged to Anna Nicole Smith.
Jonnie: Maybe I won't even claim it was actually Anna Nicole Smith's bandana.
Sandra: [silence]
Jonnie: I'll say, "A bandana like the one worn by Anna Nicole Smith", then post the photo.
Sandra: That would be okay.
[long pause]
Jonnie: Nobody would buy it though.
Sandra: No.
[long pause]
Jonnie: What if I never claim it was her bandana, but call it Jonnie's Anna Nicole Smith Bandana?
Sandra: You would have to note somewhere that is is not Anna Nicole Smith's actual bandana.
Jonnie: I never claimed it was her bandana in the first place!
Sandra: You suggested it!
Jonnie: How about - For Sale: This bandana which is exactly like the one worn by Anna Nicole Smith in this photograph.
Sandra: I don't have a problem with that.
Jonnie: It won't sell though.
Sandra: No.
Jonnie: God damn it!
[pause]
Jonnie: I have a dream!
Sandra: You've been planning this all day, haven't you?
Jonnie: Since 8:00am! I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget! [produces a scrap of paper with handwritten text which reads, Put ANS bandana on eBay!]
Sandra: Ha Ha Ha Ha !! You don't want to swindle people!
Jonnie: OK - Anna Nicole Smith's bandana, then the picture of ANS wearing the bandana. Then a picture of my bandana which is captioned, The actual bandana.
Sandra: No!
Jonnie: OK - the caption would say AN actual bandana. Not THE actual...
Sandra: No!!
Jonnie: A SIMILAR bandana...
Sandra: That's fine.
Jonnie: It won't sell.
Sandra: No.
Jonnie: OK - MY ANS Bandana. Then a picture of ANS wearing the bandana. With NO caption.
Sandra: [shakes head]
Jonnie: I just want to put it on eBay. It only cost me 99 cents.
Sandra: Don't put it on eBay.
Jonnie: God damn it.

This is probably the closest we've ever come to a serious argument.

March Summary

2007-03-28T05:50:00.000-07:00

Events which have occurred since Jonnie & Sandra's return to America
(copied from notes in Jonnie's day calendar)

We picked up Stanley Wood from the cat sitter and received free cat furniture. Sandra continued to work at Jonnie's workplace. Jonnie took on a ton of evening and weekend hours from the library which cut into gym time. Our nextdoor neighbor had the police called on him at 3:00am and they knocked on our door by mistake. Sandra got a stomach ache. We watched the Inside Deep Throat documentary. Rodney Bingenheimer received a star on Hollywood's Walk-Of-Fame. We ate in restaurants in numerous locations and on many occasions. We bought clothes. We found a local Dollar Tree and bought multiple jars of sun dried tomatos. We ate pizza. We found a cheap local bike shop and had Sandra's bike repaired for a fraction of our estimated cost. We threw away Stanley Wood's cat food which may be toxic. We bought new cat food for Stanley Wood. We did the laundry on multiple occasions. We took sandwiches to work. We discovered beer cheddar cheese at Trader Joe. Jonnie's employer asked him to throw away a shelf. Jonnie put it in the trunk of his car instead, so now we have an extra shelf in our kitchen. Sandra purchased a new salad bowl. Jonnie had a migraine. We purchased plastic containers from Big Lots. We watched the Life of Brian DVD. Sandra was given a free drink coupon at Soup Plantation. Jonnie was not given any free coupons at Soup Plantation. Sandra purchased and activated a new cell phone. Sandra made Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back her new ring tone. Sandra cooked. Jonnie washed dishes. Jonnie found a beef jerky coupon (buy one, get one free) and an ad for a Rite Aid sale in which beef jerky was on special (buy one, get one free). Jonnie brought both of these home to Sandra after a weekend library shift, then we went out to buy beef jerky immediately. Jonne bought a 40-episode Beverly Hillbillies DVD collection. Sandra bought a Bee Gees video documentary. Sandra coined the term, pulling a Jonnie which refers to impulsively purchasing something which is only marginally interesting, but exceptionally cheap; and which will most likely be enjoyed one time, then will ultimately be mailed to Boz.

Addendum - We each bought a 2GB flash drive for only $15 each. On our morning commute to work, we always see a guy with a license plate which reads, "[heart] 2 YIFF". Sandra looked up "yiffing" online and discovered it is a slang term for fucking. KROQ morning personality, Lisa May, got a double "g-shot" from a vaginal rejuvination plastic surgeon. He injected two vials of silicone under her g-spot, which raised it up quite a bit. Now it's really easy to hit. Jonnie switched to an "anti-poof" formula hair care product. We purchased a Hewlett-Packard notebook which is at least 5 times more powerful than Jonnie's old PC which he has been using since 1998.

Any questions?

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 9

2007-03-26T06:14:00.000-07:00

Back to America

When we woke up the next morning, our first order of business was to finish packing. One bag seemed overweight, so we brought down the scale, converted between pounds and kilos, made some adjustments, and ended up with both bags weighing in at just under their 50 lb. weight limit.

Actually, we planned to return with our bags packed to the limit, so Sandra made the 50 lbs to kilos conversion even before we left the U.S. We packed remarkably light when we left the U.S., but returned with about 99 pounds of stuff (mostly from Globus).

We congratulated ourselves on taking care of this now, rather than having to repack at the airport.

Frau Thum drove us to the Koblenz train station, then we stopped to enjoy a coffee (Sandra had chocolate milk) until it was time to head to our train platform.

While we were waiting for the train to Frankfurt, Jonnie got to see his first group of European football hooligans. As one train stopped and opened its doors, the air was filled with drunken singing, then about 30 kids came pouring out of the train, each drinking from a bottle of beer and singing all the way down the bus platform. Jonnie loves public singing, and public singing is yet another reason he loves Germany. He almost certainly would have become a Football Hooligan if he had grown up in Europe.

Our train ride went smoothly. The tracks followed the Rhine for quite some time, so we got to see more castles -

Castle Ruins.

Castle in a Lake.

Rainbow.

At the Frankfurt Airport, we learned it was 8 degrees below zero in Chicago (our destination), but the flight was not currently being re-routed. We checked in and hoped for the best.

Our flight Captain announced himself as "Capt. Kent Marburger" and Sandra flinched.

9 hours later (but after the time change, it was only 3 hours later), we arrived in Chicago. Jonnie had a blinding headache. Sandra sat foot in the American midwest for the first time and decided to try McDonalds' Shamrock Shake. Jonnie had a burrito from Burrito Beach. Then we just waited for our flight back to Orange County, California.

That flight went very smoothly. Jonnie slept pretty much straight through.

We landed successfully, then took a cab home. Tomorrow we would pick up Stanley Wood from the cat sitter.

Supplemental -

Hanni emailed a few supplemental photos last week (Danke Hanni!):

Here is the torture chamber which was closed for renovations during our tour of the castle -

Stretching machine.
Sandra also informed me about another medieval torture method: they put rats onto the bare bellies of people, put a cage over the rat and something to eat for the (starving) rat outside the cage so the rat would smell it and chew their way through the the person's guts to get at the food.

Here is proof that the castle cannons are aimed directly at Sandra's and Hanni's houses -

And here is something Jonnie did not get to see -

It's a trackless train which runs during the summer and takes tourists through Braubach and all the way up to the castle. Jonnie plans to ride that on his next visit.

Summary - Germany offers all the comforts and conveniences which can be found in America at comparable (or more affordable) prices and without the Jesus Freaks.

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 8, Part 2

2007-03-25T07:07:00.000-07:00

Eck-Fritz

For our final German dinner, Frau Thum treated us to oxen steaks at an eatery which has been in business since 1597. Of course there have been renovations since then. It is a place of business, not a museum. There is no inconvenient need to maintain authenticity for its own sake. I'm sure the kitchen has been upgraded a time or two; but still, this place was older than Jonnie's country.

Jonnie had wanted to visit a pre-1700 public house all week and our chance had finally come. The incredible thing is that there are so many pre-1700 establishments to choose from in Braubach. We trusted Frau Thum's judgement, which we had no reason to doubt, and she led us through the winding streets of Braubach straight to the doorstep of Eck-Fritz -

Eck-Fritz.

Established in 1597.
Frau Thum knew the cook here and he cooked an exceptional oxen steak. The pattern of German dinners getting better and better each evening had persisted throughout the entire vacation.

Eck-Fritz seemed somewhat stark and intimidating from the outside, but as soon as we stepped inside, it was a very warm and comforting place to be, just like the Germans themselves.

Jonnie loved the creaking board floors and the shelves full of ancient decorated bottles and knick-knacks which surrounded the room. He looked at them throughout the evening. It gave him something to do while everybody was speaking German. The tables and chairs had little heart-shaped holes cut in them, which was a nice touch -

Eck-Fritz Dining Furniture.

The coolest feature was the presence of faint wall-paintings all around the room. Who knows how old they were?

Classical dining scene and text.

They didn't mind sticking a stereo speaker over this one. There are plenty of others to look at. The text reads In Vino Veritas, which literally translates to Truth in Wine -

Truth in Wine.

The main roof beams were heavily ornamented as well -

Roof beams of Eck-Fritz.

Our waitress was in her late 60s, but had recently run the New York marathon. She is going back to run it again in 2010, when she is 70.

The oxen steaks were served with grilled onions and a bowl of fried potatoes. They were out of this world -

Frau Thum with oxen steak.

After dinner were the complimentary shots, then back home to pack for our flight back to the U.S. We would head to the train station the next morning.

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 8, Part 1

2007-03-24T06:42:00.000-07:00

Maximillian's

Day 8, our final full day in Germany, began with a visit from Hanni & Xian for breakfast - meats, cheeses, rolls (some of which contained curry wurst), coffee, and juice. There is no better way to start the day.

"Guten Morgen"!
Frau Thum also provided colored eggs, or Eier, each of which was decorated by a sticker with an Eier related pun printed on it. For example, one may say, An Ei for an Ei. (Ei is one egg, Eier is the plural - eggs). When you call an egg an Ei, it rhymes with eye as well as I, so the list of potential puns really becomes enormous -

Ei of the needle.
Ei of the hurricane.
Ei wanna rock.
The Evil Ei.
If thine Ei offend thee, cut it out.
Ei-M-C-A

Since Eier is one of the few German words which Jonnie understands perfectly, and since these slogans were physically attached to eggs; there was almost no chance that Jonnie would misunderstand these egg puns. He felt clever for the first time since he sat foot in Germany.

During this time, Jonnie was able to get a picture of Sandra's and Hanni's early years. They apparently used to strip Ken dolls naked and take turns throwing them at a target they drew above a barrel of water. Scandalous.

Other topics of discussion included our local Santa Ana Ghetto Bird and the prevalence of religious fundamentalism in the U.S. Hanni expressed some disbelief at stories she had heard about biology textbooks being banned in various U.S. states. Jonnie assured her this was not at all uncommon in the U.S. and he could offer no explanation aside from the fact that we just have a lot of Jesus freaks which politicians are always thinking they have to appease. That was another thing Jonnie really loved about Germany, the lack of Jesus freaks.

After breakfast, we went to see Hanni & Xian's new apartment which is currently being renovated. They were replacing floors and ceilings and carrying out all sorts of heavy duty construction work over there, the payoff being that they will have a beautiful two story apartment with a spacious outdoor balcony for considerably less rent per month than what we are paying for a much more modest living arrangement in California's OC.

We plan to visit their guestroom in the future.

In the afternoon, Frau Thum took us on a lovely scenic tour, which included a stop at Maximillian's, a castle-shaped brewery which contained a full-blown German beer hall.

Maximillian's.
While Jonnie sampled a couple of the local brews, Sandra opted for Malz Bier which is a non-alcoholic beer often used as a sports drink in Germany, as the carbs result in an energy boost.

America does have a couple of non-alcoholic beers, but they mimic the flavor of crappy beer while Malz Bier is delicious.

Sandra Nursing a Malz Bier.
Once they brought out the pretzels, Jonnie was feeling pretty German. I think the beer hall environment had something to do with it.

A Fully Germanized Jonnie.
Those orange lights over Jonnie's shoulder in the above photo are actually groups of beer mugs hanging from the ceiling and reflecting light. Beer mugs were hanging from the ceiling all over the place! Jonnie loved that.

When Jonnie went to the Maximillian's public restroom, the doors were not marked as Herr and Fraulein. They used different words entirely. Jonnie wasn't sure which was the men's and which was the women's, so he had to guess. He mentally tossed a coin and walked into one. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) it was the men's. He guessed correctly.

Something else worth mentioning - Maximillian's restroom had a toilet mounted halfway up the wall, at about chest level. The wall also had handles attached on each side of the toilet, so patrons can have something to hold on to while they're throwing up. haha.

On our way back home, we stopped to feed the ducks (which was quite entertaining) and then we revisited Globus one last time to pick out a flower arrangement for Granny.

Tonight, the trip would culminate with oxen steaks at an eatery which has been in business since the 1500s!

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 5-7

2007-03-23T05:42:00.000-07:00

Schlachterplatte

The next few days of our German vacation will be related with a little more of a summary perspective. Since we didn't take very many photos or notes during Days 5-7, I thought this would be a good point to condense.

That is not to suggest Days 5-7 were not packed with delightful novelty, because they were. It's just that these posts have been running long and something should be done about it.

Whereas Days 1-4 served as an introduction to Braubach, Days 5-7 were a taste of daily life. The novelty factor had worn off enough for Jonnie to function adequately (or as adequately as one can function without knowing the language).

Breakfast

Day 5 - metwurst, which at first looked to Jonnie like raw hamburger. Metwurst though, is just ground wurst and Jonnie found it delicious.

Day 6 - Various cheeses and meats with an assortment of breads. This is the German breakfast which Jonnie had come to love and which Sandra loved already.

Day 7 - Sandra drove Jonnie out to a vendor who sold delicious curry wurst. Curry wurst was Germany's #1 fast food before doenner came along and I really wish I took a photo of it because it would lift my spirits just to look at it again. Delicious sliced wurst in curry sauce on a pile of french fries. Out of this world. We topped the occasion off by sharing a small order of kidney goulash. This was the same food stand that Sandra used to visit as a schoolgirl. It is still there. Sandra also showed Jonnie the phonebooth where her and Hanni were flashed as children.

Sandra: It isn't too uncommon to get flashed in Germany.
Jonnie: I'll laugh if somebody flashes us.
Sandra: We probably won't get flashed. It's usually just girls who get flashed.
Jonnie: Can I flash somebody?
Sandra: No.

The first thing we did after breakfast on Day 5 was visit Aldi. There are a number of Aldis scattered around America. There was one in the midwestern town where Jonnie grew up, but Aldi is a German chain. The Aldi brothers are among the richest people in the world and their no-frills shopping system keeps prices low for consumers all over the planet. As good as Globus' prices were, Aldi put them to shame. A person could live very well on very little if they had a German Aldi located nearby.

During Days 5-7, Sandra and Jonnie paid visits to various Braubach residents and family friends. Everybody was wonderful, which surprised Jonnie quite a bit as he was under the impression that Germans were a very mean people. This impression was supported by numerous accounts of Germans hating to wait in line, always frowning at people, hating children, banging their shopping carts into other peoples' shopping carts etc. While these accounts are all true, everybody we visited was delightful.

So there is a big difference between how Germans behave in the public sphere compared to how they behave in private. Jonnie was fortunate enough to encounter them in the private sphere because Sandra had the hook-up.

It can also be generalized from these days of visiting acquaintances, that Germans have a very loose relationship to alcohol; which was very refreshing. Alcohol is inexpensive and everybody drinks a little frequently. As opposed to America where there is a moral stigma and people tend to drink occasionally, but to excess.

Everywhere we went, even if (actually, especially if) we were visiting an elderly woman, our hosts would insist on us having a drink of wine or whiskey. It was so great!

Dinner

Granny with the Schlachterplatte.
Day 5 - As a thoughtful means for introducing Jonnie to the overwhelming selection of German sausages, Sandra's Uncle made a German butcher's plate, or Schlachterplatte. It was a sampling of Germany's numerous sausages swimming in the most delicious sauerkraut Jonnie ever tasted. Jonnie has always loved sauerkraut, but never tasted anything this delicious. The Germans use wine in their sauerkraut preparation.

While the Weis Wurst exploded in the oven, one survived for Jonnie to sample. Weis Wurst is a Bavarian sausage served with a specialized mustard which was just incredible. Also present in the platter were Brats, Neuremburgers, Blood Wurst, and I don't know what all. The Schlachterplatte was a great introduction to German sausages and a great idea on the part of Sandra's uncle, who is somewhat famous for his exceptional cooking skills.

Day 6 - We dined with family friends, Sabine and Paul, at their home. Sabine made a traditional German dish called Rolla Rolla which was just unbelievably delicious. Again, we should've taken photos, but we were distracted by the fine dining. The Rolla Rolla was served with Kleusse, red cabbage, and a fine beer from Cologne. We stayed late and had a great time. There were some very animated discussions that night, and Jonnie was amused and entertained; even while having no idea what was being said or what was going on.

Day 7 - Sandra's uncle really out-did himself for this meal - Germany's famous Sauerbratten! Jonnie had heard all about Sauerbratten from Sandra and couldn't wait to have a taste. Sauerbratten is an extremely tender roast, which marinates for days in a mysterious substance mixed with wine. Again, no pictures, even though we brought the camera with us. It was too delicious for photography to even cross our minds. Actually, it was Granny's assignment to prepare the Sauerbratten, but she talked Sandra's uncle into preparing it instead. The dinner party also shared a bottle of a local Braubach wine and Jonnie was amazed how the meals just get better and better everyday in Germany.

Other Misc. Observations

1. While American cats tend to have longer, pointier ears; German cats tend to have shorter, more rounded ears.

Micky.
2. Watching The A-Team dubbed into German will make a person fall asleep almost instantly, even though it is hilarious. This creates the rare experience of drifting into a deep sleep while simultaneously laughing out loud.

3. Germany's Top Model with Heidi Klum is Ten Times better than America's Top Model with Tyra Banks.

Less summary posts, complete with action-packed photos will resume with Day 8.

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 4

2007-03-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

Koblenz

This day began with breakfast at the Cafe Marksburg -

Cafe Marksburg.
Located on the street directly below the Marksburg Castle, this cafe is one of Frau Thum's favorite hangouts and I can see why, because it is delightful.

Jonnie came to love the German-style breakfast more-or-less immediately: Coffee, a little bit of orange juice, an optional chocolate milk, and then a tray of rolls and a tray of meat slices and cheeses which can be mixed and matched at will.

Jonnie had heard Sandra talk about the quality of German meats and cheeses, but he thought she must be exaggerating; after all, how much flavor could a cold cut have? Well, a German cold cut has quite a lot of flavor. And at a much lower cost. And that goes double for the cheese.

This breakfast also included a hard boiled egg. And here's another difference between America and Germany - American egg yolks are more yellow while German egg yolks are more orange. While this may seem very trivial in the abstract, it is momentous when you are actually eating an egg. At first, Jonnie thought it must be under cooked or perhaps there was some blood in the yolk until he remembered that Sandra noted this difference on her first visit to America. She initially thought American yellow yolk eggs must be rancid.

After breakfast, Sandra drove us to the city of Koblenz for some shopping. Before visiting the commercial district though, we stopped by the German Corner.

The German Corner is the point where the Rhine and the Mosel rivers merge. It is marked by an enormous monumental representation of Kaiser Wilhelm.

Enormous Kaiser Wilhelm Monument.
This is Jonnie (marked by the red circle) standing at the foot of the Kaiser Wilhelm monument for scale. It really is enormous. Which is fitting for the man who united a ton of diverse quarreling tribes into one coherent nation.

Jonnie and Sandra at the German Corner.
Just to the right of Kaiser Wilhelm's Memorial, and across the river, we could see the hospital where Sandra was born -

The hospital where Sandra was born.
[Note - What is circled is not actually the hospital where Sandra was born. It is actually an insurance company. It marks the place where the hospital is located, although the actual hospital is not visible from the German Corner.]

Then it was off to the Koblenz commercial district -

Koblenz Commercial District.
Braubach really is perfectly located. It's a small town with undisturbed historical architecture which has a larger bustling city nearby, so you can have your cake and eat it too. Koblenz really has an incredible mall.

Koblenz is also the home of Sandra's famous gummy store. The quality of these German engineered gummies is unsurpassed by anything in the U.S. American gummies are kind of crappy and are marketed mainly to children, while these gummies incorporate real fruit and contain no chemical additives. Little gummy, Big flavor.

The gummy store!
Sandra has sent me gummies from this store through the mail and it was wonderful to see where they actually came from. We went in and bought a few bags.

There also was a place called, Shakes Beer.
We thought that was pretty funny -

Shakes Beer.

The famous "little spitter" statue is located in Koblenz. It is a statue of kid who shoots passing pedestrians with a stream of water which flies horizontally out of his mouth at random intervals. Unfortunately, the spitter was not spitting this day, so Jonnie felt brave enough to stand directly in the danger zone and take a full frontal photograph.

The Little Spitter of Koblenz, photographed from the danger zone.

Whoever designed the Little Spitter fountain is a genius.

As we entered the gigantic Koblenz mall, Jonnie had his first Doenner. Doenner is Germany's #1 fast food and it is similar to a gyro. Very delicious. Jonnie was immediately addicted.

Jonnie's first doenner.
After some shopping, we returned home to Braubach. There was still some time before we were due at Hanni's for dinner. Knowing we would probably post about this trip on our blog, we thought we would pass the time by making a Wii representation of Boz.

Boz Mii.

Boz VS Elisa on the baseball diamond.

Then we commenced with the boxing.

Jonnie Victorious.

Sandra's Knock Out Punch.

Soon it was time for dinner at Hanni's. Hanni whipped up a southwest style baked dish with tiramisu for desert and everything was delicious. Hanni and Xian both speak very good English, so this was the first meal where Jonnie could vaguely understand what was going on. Jonnie also had his first dose of basalt liquor, which comes in a handsome crockery bottle. We were going to bring one back as a souvineer, but figured it would likely break in our luggage if we did.

We made a date to meet again for breakfast on Friday morning, then were off to bed.

Tomorrow we would visit Aldi's!

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 3, Part 2

2007-03-17T08:14:00.000-07:00

Wii, the People

Q: How do you follow up a visit to a German Castle?
A: Frau Thum's brand new Wii system!

Neither of us were familiar with the Nintendo Wii at the time, but now we both are and we want one of our own.

Nintendo's Wii takes video gaming to the next level, as the hip-hoppers say. It takes video gaming into another dimension, as the comic books say. There are two huge differences between the Nintendo Wii and traditional video gaming systems -

1. Customized Characters

The game console contains software for designing your own characters (called Miis) through a menu on your television screen. Choose a head shape, choose some eyes, choose a hair-do, add a beard or whatever you want; then when you're finished, you've designed a custom character (Mii). You can make as many Miis as you want, then when you put in a game disc, you can choose which Mii you want to use in the game.

Here are ours:

Sandra Mii.

Jonnie Mii.

Frau Thum Mii - Wally is the informal usage of her proper name, Waltraud.

And, even though she had no interest in playing Wii, we made a character for Granny too:

Granny Mii.

So instead of playing a game as Mario or Pac-Man or whoever, you can play as yourself. Frau Thum had the sports game and we had a blast trying our hands at various sports:

Baseball Sandra.

Boxing Jonnie.

Golf Sandra.
2. Motion Detection Controllers

Instead of the traditional joystck or button pad, Wii uses motion detection technology. You physically swing as if you were really golfing and your onscreen character does whatever you do. If you swing the bat too soon, you miss the ball. If you're holding your tennis racket all cockeyed, you will hit the ball out of bounds. If you don't throw your bowling ball straight, it will miss the pins. When you're boxing, if you don't hold a hand up to block your opponents punches, you will be knocked out in no time.

So when Jonnie was boxing onscreen, he actually looked like this in the real world:

Real Boxing Jonnie.
Yay, Wii!
Five stars.
No negatives.

For dinner, Frau Thum made a delicious lamb goulash, which we miss even more than the Wii. It was out of this world.

Earlier in the day, we briefly met Hanni and her brand-new husband Xian. This was a genuine pleasure, because Hanni and Sandra are practically sisters. They grew up next door to each other and spent most of their early days together. So, Jonnie had met the person who is, essentially, his sister-in-law. Sandra and Hanni were married about a month apart and in two completely different countries. While each would've normally attended each others' weddings, circumstances prevented it. Sandra could not travel out of the country until her U.S. resident status was approved, while Hanni was overwhelmed with her own wedding arrangements, making a trip to America impossible at that time. So this was their first meeting as married women. As Fraus!

Tomorrow, we would visit Koblenz for a little shopping; then in the evening, we would meet Sandra's lifelong friend Hanni for dinner.

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 3, Part 1

2007-03-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

Marksburg Castle

Jonnie woke up at about 4:00am again and couldn't get back to sleep. Fortunately, The Ali G Show came on in English with German subtitles, so he could just kick back and watch it. Unfortunately, his cries of joy woke up Sandra; who, while certainly an Ali G fan, was not thrilled to be awake at such an early hour.

We ultimately fell back asleep and woke up at 11:00 again. Today was our visit to Marksburg castle and we were eager to begin. Sandra informs me that some of the castle cannons are pointed directly at her and Hanni's houses. If you stand behind the cannon and look straight out from the center of its barrel, Hanni's and Sandra's houses (they're right next to each other) are what you will see. Their ancestors probably provoked it somehow.

Marksburg Castle (background) and Hanni's house (foreground).
After a fine German breakfast, we were on our way. Frau Thum drove us up the mountain to the castle gate. The road up the mountain was exceptionally winding and narrow, much like German roads in general, except more so since this road was originally designed for travel by horseback.

Since we were touring during the off-season, there were no English language tour guides available; but with his complementary English guide map and Sandra as his interpreter, Jonnie felt confident he would be able to figure out what was going on.

Jonnie & Sandra at the Marksburg Castle.

Admission Ticket.
A pretty sizable crowd had gathered by the time our tour started. It was a pretty mixed group. Some kids, but not enough to be annoying. Lots of Germans and English with a number of Americans present as well.

Entering the castle.
The above photo was taken from the castle's 2nd gate. You can see the top of the next gate (the 3rd gate) is filled with a different color of stone around the edge. The original gate was wider so knights could ride through on their horses, but was made smaller in later years, making it easier to defend. Another notable feature of the 3rd gate is that it includes a small balcony from which boiling oil and tar could be dumped on top of undesirables.

Going through the 2nd gate and into the castle proper, we walked up a steep incline. The tour guide says that modern horses are unable to make it up; but medieval horses were larger and stronger as is evidenced by their huge horseshoes. Inside the castle proper, the family crests of all the castles' former owners were displayed, but Jonnie did not take a picture.

The castle is over 700 years old, dating back to the 1300s, and the first room we visited was the Great Battery. The Great Battery was added to the castle pretty recently in 1709 during the 30 Years War. It consists of a series of cannons facing the Rhine river so they could fight off a naval attack. The battery was also used to bombard passing merchant ships who did not pay a fee to use the riverway.

After the battery, we walked through the castle's winery -

Wine Cellar.
Apparently, the water was no good back in the day; so everybody would drink wine. About half a gallon per person per day, though the alcohol level was not what it is today. They estimate about 5% alcohol. That'll get you through the day.

Outside, in the Rheinzwinger, is the herb garden. In consists of about 170 medieval plants which are still faithfully cultivated today.

Herb garden.
Above the herb garden, attached to the side of a tower, is a wooden toilet chamber -

Medieval Outhouse.
The water pipe is not original, it has been added for preservation purposes, to prevent water erosion of the walls (probably).

Later we would see this same toilet from inside the castle. It was attached to the knights' Banquet Hall. They would sit on a hole, then their crap would fall along the tower into the herb garden below, where it would become fertilizer. Pretty efficient.

One thing which really shocked and awed me was the presence of an early refrigerator -

Stone Refrigerator.
I didn't catch a date on this feature, so I don't know exactly when it was added, but it was well before the advent of electricity and it stood right there in a banquet hall near the table, preserving perishable food. Our tour guide says huge blocks of ice were collected in the winter, then they were wrapped tightly in straw and elevated. This surprisingly kept ice available throughout the year.

The queen's bed chamber included wood paneling, to keep the heat in. Her bed included a covered canopy so lice would not fall on her from the ceiling. Everybody also took pains to keep the location of her chamber a secret. Our guide stated that people would sleep sitting up in medieval times because they held the opinion that laying down flat was only appropriate for the dead.

The most notable thing about this bed is its small size. As horses were bigger in medieval times, people were smaller. We probably would not know that if it weren't for artifacts like this castle.

Jonnie at the queen's bedside.
The Rittersaal (Great Dining Hall) was next. This is where the knights ate.

Rittersaal.

The Rittersaal includes a gigantic fireplace. One interesting thing about the table: the tabletop would detach from the table legs. Since the knights were discussing private matters, their meals were prepared on the table top in another location and then the whole table top, loaded with food, was carried into the dining hall where it was set to rest on the table legs.

The knights had their own outhouse (seen earlier from the herb garden). Here it is from the interior:

Toilet of heroes.
The door to this toilet room locked from the outside. In case somebody were to climb up through the sewage hole, they could be locked inside. I wonder how many hundreds of times the knights locked the new guy in the toilet room as a joke.

Next to the Rittersaal was the chapel, which includes some great wall paintings such as this one -

Chapel Wall Painting.
After the chapel we went up an extremely narrow corridor. I mean it was narrow -

Sandra navigates the narrow corridor.
The tour didn't visit the torture chamber this time, which was a little bit disappointing, but Jonnie was impressed enough with everything else that it didn't really matter to him. The torture chamber must've been going through renovations.

Next was the armory. It also included a piece of horse armor -

Horse Helmet.
Also present in the armory was a punitive belt which was placed on prostitutes who did not pay their taxes, preventing them from practicing their trade -

Punitive Prostitute Belt.
The armory contained numerous representations of armor throughout the ages; from ancient Greek and Roman attire through medieval platemail, but this is already an image heavy post, so I'll go straight to Jonnie's favorite armory item from any age: the helmet with gigantic horns -

I think the gigantically-horned helmet just beats all.

I would just freak out if I happened across somebody wearing a gigantically-horned helmet in the woods.

Jonnie in the Armory.

Jonnie in the Armory wearing a Gigantically-Horned Helmet.

As we left the castle, Jonnie was beside himself. He'd never seen such direct evidence of ancient history before. He has received almost all of his historical information from reading texts which is a whole different thing.

Back in the castle gift shop, we bought postcards; then on our way out, we noticed a document repository. It was open, so we went in to browse around.

Documents in a display case.
We were quite impressed with the document repository where you could buy fragments of medieval documents, from handwritten ancient manuscripts to early Guttenberg printing press texts. Each document comes with a certificate of authenticity and items can range from a random piece of text to a whole page or a woodcut illustration, all from original documents.

After visiting the castle, we took a scenic walk back home where we had a snack and wrote postcards.

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 2, Part 2

2007-03-13T05:40:00.000-07:00

Globus and Gorganzola Pizza

Before the walking tour of Braubach (described in the last post), we began our day with a drive out to Globus, a local shopping center -

Globus.

Globus is a sprawling monster of a grocery store with multiple parking garages. It really is fantastic. Globus has multipe layers with escalators running at a lower incline than American escalators, so you can take your shopping cart with you to the other levels.

And speaking of shopping carts: The superiority of German shopping cars can not be denied.

First off, the ones at Globus had a little wire shelf for storing things that may otherwise get crushed in the larger basket -

Superior Shopping Carts of Germany.

German carts drove a lot smoother as well, they were not rickety in the least, and they could turn on a dime. Very high performance machines compared to American shopping carts. There were no creaking wheels. They were an absolute pleasure to drive.

There are no shopping carts cluttering German parking lots either. Customers pay a 1 euro deposit for their cart, then the euro is refunded once the cart is neatly stacked in line with the other carts. This keeps costs down as they don't have to pay anybody to gather shopping carts from the parking lot all day.

But shopping carts were not Globus' only strong point. There was also the fine selection of cheeses and wurst -

A fine selection of wurst.
Finally, there is the issue of value. German prices put American prices to shame. I have no idea why crap is so expensive in America. I had no idea things were expensive until I compared with Germany.

Everything at the grocery store was cheaper, most notably fruit juices; which were usually organic with no chemical additives and very few preservatives, priced at under $1 per liter.

Healthy juices cost about what a 2 liter of soda costs us. Healthy food was as inexpensive in Germany as junk food is in America. No idea why.

The other big difference was beer. A 12 bottles of high quality beer would cost around $5 or less.

Also, Mr. Clean goes by the name Meister Proper over there -

Meister Proper.
We bought a lot of spices and seasonings which are cheap and light weight. When added to american food, we'll be able to crank out all sorts of German dishes. One of our personal favorites is German salad dressing. It comes as an envelope of seasonings which is added to a little oil which results in the greatest salad flavor I've ever experienced. 6 packets for about 60 cents. We bought a ton of them as we've found nothing comparable in the U.S.

We also picked up Pflumli plum spread which is a nice snack to spread on bread. Also some kinder chocolate and a couple of Germany's famous kinder eggs as well as 6 bottles of high quality Hefeweizen for just a few euros.

One more note, Germany is big on selling chocolate with liquor in it, and I think that's wonderful. Chocolate filled with rum is one of life's great pleasures. As for why liquor filled candy is not readily available in America, I'm blaming the Puritan heritage again, even though it's impossible to get drunk off of rum-filled chocolate.

After our visit to Globus, we received a call from Sandra's uncle, inviting us for coffee and cake later in the afternoon. Jonnie thought that was such a pleasant gesture and couldn't wait for cake time.

We drove back to Braubach; passing a store called Loser on the way. "Loser" is a normal German name apparently, but it amused Jonnie to see the word painted in large letters over a guy's shop.

After unpacking our loot, we met with Sandra's uncle for cake and coffee. Jonnie got to meet the entire family, and while he did not understand a word of what was said, he enjoyed himself immensely. It was wonderful to meet everybody and the cake was delicious.

After cake, Sandra and Jonnie commenced on the walking tour of Braubach described in the last post. After that, Frau Thum treated us to dinner at Laguna Pizza, which we thought was a fine name since we were married on California's Laguna Beach. Laguna Pizza is where Sandra gets her famous Pizza Chef - a delicious salami and pepper pizza featuring our beloved gorganzola cheese.

But before dinner, Frau Thum remembered that she needed to pick up some lamb from Globus, so we got to go back; which was great because Jonnie was already missing Globus. On our second trip, we went to the butchers' counter and Frau Thum asked for some kinder wurst. Apparently, the butcher will give a piece of wurst to children as a treat. They gave us huge fist sized pieces since we are huge children and it was very enjoyable.

On our way to Laguna Pizza, we passed the sign that said Loser again; and it amused Jonnie as much as it did the first time.

The Pizza Chef totally lived up to Jonnie's expectations. It was delicious. Another great thing about German restaurants is that after you've eaten, they offer you a complementary shot of liquor, "to help with the digestion". Laguna Pizza gave us a shot of amaretto.

Then back home to bed. Tomorrow we would tour the Marksburg Castle.

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 2, Part 1

2007-03-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

Braubach, an Overview
Well, as tired as we were, we still woke up about 5 hours later at 3:00am due to jet lag. According to our biological clocks, it was 6:00pm and we were just napping. We had MTV on since they have a lot of English programing on there. We were delighted to catch an episode of Flava Flav's Flavor of Love. We had just watched season 1 on DVD earlier this year. We stayed awake a few more hours, but then slept until nearly noon the next day.

As we caught up with Frau Thum and had a late breakfast, Jonnie realized the nearby Marksburg Castle was visible right outside Frau Thum's living room window -

Marksburg Castle as Viewed from Frau Thum's Living Room Window.

Jonnie was informed that his snoring was audible throughout the house last night, so he made a mental note to keep that in mind. Fortunately, he wasn't the only one snoring; so it's not like he was a bull in a china shop by any stretch of the imagination.

New German phrase: Ich habe gut geschlafen [I had a good sleep].

Today would be spent seeing Braubach.
On our way out, we met Granny who had been awake for hours:

Jonnie: Ich habe gut geschlafen.
Granny: I heard!

Everybody was surprised to learn that Granny knew a little English. She still remembered it from high school because her mind is like a steel trap. She never mentioned to anybody that she knew a little English and it took everybody by surprise.

Jonnie & Sandra at Frau Thum's Office.
Next we visited Globus (which will be the topic of the next post). When we returned, we checked e-mail at Frau Thum's office, making sure that Stanley Wood was behaving himself. Then Sandra took Jonnie on a walking tour of Braubach, the town in which she grew up. Jonnie adored everything about it.

Sandra's Walking Tour of Braubach.
What's not to like about Braubach? It was delightful all around, though it took Jonnie some time to get used to the narrow streets. He was continually surprised to see a car come driving down what he thought were foot paths.

While hundreds of years old, the buildings were maintained beautifully. Very few of them were allowed to fall into disrepair by their owners.

Numerous establishments dated back to the 1500s-1600s and were still in business today. Some pre-dated the religious Reformation.

We liked this wooden butcher sign -

In business since 1874.
A lot of the structures incorporated ornamental images and text.
This was one of our favorites -

Two Dwarves Holding a Pretzel - 1442.

Instead of being locked behind glass, cigarettes are readily available on street corners; yet there is no youth smoking crisis -

Public Cigarette Machine.

Braubach is the town of "wine and roses" and many buildings include some sort of pro-wine and pro-enjoyment-of-life slogan.

This one says something along the lines of, "Life is tough. Eat and drink a lot. Life's misery is easier to bear on a full stomach". Word.

Words to Live By.
Another thing I've never seen before is working window shutters. When I have seen shutters in American, they have always been ornamental columns placed on each side of a window for decorative purposes. They are not even attached to real hinges.

Shutters in Braubach are all fully functional -

True Window Shutters.

Working shutters on a lively colored building -

Braubach was officially founded in 691 a.d. and there are still surviving medieval structures to be found all around. In medieval times, the town was surrounded by a defensive wall and some of the original wall towers still stand -

Original Tower from Defensive Wall.
Next, Sandra took RLB along the Rhine river where we paid tribute to this memorial commemorating the Grandfather of Gymnastics, who is actually from Braubach:

Memorial to the Grandfather of Gymnastics.
While he didn't personally invent gymnastics, this guy certainly popularized them. He's also responsible for getting them into the schools.

OK. This post is getting pretty image heavy, but I think I hit most of the highlights.
More to come.

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 1, Part 3

2007-03-10T06:37:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Braubach

OK, so 3 posts on Day 1 may seem excessive; but with the 9 hour time change, it was a really long day.

Probably more to the point was the fact that we have a lot more notes from Day 1 because when you're sitting in planes and airports for 25 hours, you tend to record a lot more information than you would otherwise. The detail level of our notes fades greatly (and sometimes entirely) once we actually arrive in Germany and start really enjoying ourselves. So there will be a lot less text and a lot more photos at that time.

But at this point in the narrative, our biggest thrill occurred when our flight terminal to Frankfurt was announced. Once we approached the terminal, the German language became dominant and Jonnie became rather reliant on Sandra for getting around. Sandra inquired about our baggage which had not yet been checked in for this flight, though we were told it did make it as far as London. We were glad it made it this far, but were nervous it wouldn't reach our final destination.

Our flight to Frankfurt was smooth and brief. We were flying British Airlines now and their complementary beverage cart included, "beer, wine, and spirits". We were both feeling quite on the edge after our long flight, so Sandra requested a red wine and Jonnie had a stout Danish beer. We relaxed immediately. It was just what the doctor ordered.

I don't know why airlines want to charge $5.00 for a crappy Budweiser in America, but I have never purchased one. With all the extra hassle involved in checking I.D. along with the ridiculous cost, it just isn't worth it.

But our flight into Frankfurt was very pleasant and relaxed. We arrived safely and were delighted to see our luggage among the first to come off the plane (it must've been the last to be loaded on, which is why it wasn't recorded in the system when we inquired earlier).

Jonnie couldn't believe he was in Germany! Sandralein's homeland!! In the magazine store, there were naked breasts on magazine covers.

We called Sandra's mother, Frau Thum, to announce our arrival; then went out to the curb to wait for her. After some time, she arrived with her sidekick, Mehmet, and it was a glorious reunion. It was getting late, so we took the Autobahn home. While much faster than American freeways, Jonnie felt safer on the Autobahn, because at least the commuters were all consistent in following the same set of rules and protocols. In California, everybody just does whatever they want and it's a lot more dangerous. At any speed, I'd prefer an attentive German driver over somebody chattering away on their cell phone.

Jonnie knew we were approaching Braubach when he started seeing medieval castles. It was evening, but the castles were illuminated by lights up on the mountaintops where they stood. It really was spectacular.

Soon we reached the glorious Thum house and were greeted by Sandra's uncle, who is a giant of a man. We also met Granny Thum, who is amazingly spry for her 80 years of age. Despite the language barrier, everybody was getting along very well. Jonnie was under the impression that Germans were mean and this notion was reinforced after observing all the frowning German faces at the London terminal, but the Thum family was not mean at all. They were among the most pleasant people he ever met.

The quality of German structures is another thing that was immediately striking. The buildings are stout and the doors, windows, and hinges are massive. Somebody would have a hard time trying to break them down. American doors and windows seem quite flimsy in comparison. Also, when you enter a German house, you are not immediately in the living room. You are in a semi-public corridor and will not see any of the interior chambers unless you are invited in. Germans don't want anybody just walking into their living rooms without an invitation. This sense of privacy appeals to both Jonnie's and Sandra's sensibilities.

We put our luggage in Sandra's room and Jonnie was momentarily distracted by how weird it was to see actual items which he had previously only seen on webcam over the past few years. It was so cool to see Sandra's room. She had this room her entire life!

After a discussion with Granny Thum in her private sitting room, we began settling in. Frau Thum whipped up a delicious dinner then we went straight to bed. Poor Sandra had not slept in about 30 hours.

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 1, Part 2

2007-03-09T19:06:00.000-08:00

London Airport

As our plane descended from the clouds and made its landing at London's Heathrow Airport, Jonnie's first impression of England was the abundance of shrubberies. Well manicured shrubberies were everywhere and we both commented on them in the voice of that knight from Monty Python's Holy Grail.

After deboarding the plane, our first task was to visit the toilets. Jonnie was struck by the profound sense of privacy which English toilets offer. The toilet stalls' sturdy wood walls and doors extended from an inch over the floor to roughly two feet from the ceiling. You could raise both arms up over your head in the toilet stall and nobody would know about it. A person would have a hard time looking or reaching up into your stall as well. It was the most comfortable toilet experience of Jonnie's life and it immediately put him into what must be the London state of mind.

Jonnie theorized that America's flimsy stalls (with at least a foot of space between the floor and the bottom of the wall) must be related to their ever-persistent Puritan heritage. Americans don't want people to be screwing in the toilet stalls. The English don't care, as long as people are private about it.

If America had stalls like these when Jonnie was a precocious youngster in the '80s, he never would've been able to snap this controversial photo.

One restroom feature turned Jonnie's stomach though. Next to the wash area, a vending machine was installed which sold "disposable tooth brushes". Inside were what looked like huge minty gumballs. Supposedly, chewing these will clean the teeth; then you just spit everything in the trash. Jonnie was both curious and appalled, but they looked like they were mint flavored which would just be way too disgusting even for experimental purposes.

[Addendum: Sandra informs me that what I saw was most likely a clothlike disposable toothbrush that fits over the finger. It was probably just in a bubble shaped container which gave it the appearance of being a gumball. I honestly didn't look very closely. My mind registered "gumballs" when I first glanced it. Then when I saw the "disposable toothbrush" label, I just assumed the worst. It probably was not a tooth cleaning gumball in retrospect, but that's the impression I had at the time. I didn't look at it closely. In fact, I deliberately avoided looking at it as much as possible.]

Outside the toilets, the London airport was a vast maze with lots of winding corridors, stairwells, and mobile shuttle transportation between terminals. Jonnie kept thinking we were driving on the wrong side of the road, which made the shuttle transportation seem a lot more dangerous than it actually was.

Next on our agenda was finding the American Airlines ticket desks in order to see if they could print Jonnie's boarding pass. Sandra's boarding pass printed in California, so she was in the clear.

We would characterize the English as very competent and direct. English airport staff (compared to American airport staff) were much more effective in their customer interactions. They were straight to the point and pleasant in their communications. When presented with a problem, they would helpfully handle it along the lines of, "O.K. Go here. Do this. No problem." In the U.S., on the other hand, there is always a subjective statement of personal opinion like "Well, I don't know how that happened...I'm sorry about this, I'll see what I can do...blah blah blah".

Anyway, Jonnie's boarding pass ultimately was printed and we were on our merry way. Tra la la la.

Jonnie had seen few currency exchange centers in his life, but the ones he had seen had always been bland and non-descript. Not so in London, their dollar-euro exchange machines look like they came straight out of Vegas. Even larger than the exchange machines are the twin dollar and euro ATMs -

London's Currency Exchange Machines.
These machines caught Jonnie's attention immediately, but there was no need to exchange any money because euros were already waiting for us in Germany. For the next 20 minutes or so, Jonnie kept suggesting they buy small items; mainly as an excuse to put something in the dollar-euro exchange machine. Sandra was more preoccupied with locating a store which sells a large variety of English crisps. She did not want to be sidetracked by a trip back to the currency exchange center. Her chip purchase would most likely not be a small transaction and would be more appropriate for an ATM card as opposed to cash.

Jonnie found the occasional scent of cigarette smoke in the airport to be oddly pleasant. He had not smelled cigarette smoke in a public building for quite a few years.

The food court was a pretty good distance from the currency exchange center, so Jonnie bought a coffee with his ATM card. Our flight to Frankfurt was not yet assigned a terminal, so we decided to spend the rest of our layover browsing the airport shops. It was really refreshing to see strange department stores for a change rather than the same old chains you see everywhere in America.

Our favorite was the Glorious Britain gift shop -

Glorious Britain.
Glorious Britain contained all things British in handy souvenir sized packages. You could purchase a picture of the Queen Mum to hang on your wall or a set of tea spoons with pictures of the royal family on the handles. Lots of great stuff in there.

They even had a wooden replica of a royal palace guard outside the door -

Royal Palace Guard Replica (behind a tourist).

We opted not to buy anything, as tempting as it was. We wanted German souvenirs and London was just a pit-stop on our way to the real deal.

German Vacation, A Full Account - Day 1, Part 1

2007-03-07T04:22:00.000-08:00

Thursday, Feb. 22, 2007
Launch!

On the morning of our departure, all of our personal business was out of the way: Stanley Wood was in the care of a fellow cat-lover, laundry was done, house was clean, and rent was paid ahead. Jonnie had about four bananas in his carry-on bag which he was determined to eat rather than throw away.
Our biggest worry was the bus ride to the airport. Jonnie was concerned the buses would be crowded with morning commuters and there would be issues with us standing in the aisles with our luggage. Indeed things were already getting off to a rocky start; while we were waiting at our local bus stop, Sandra realized she forgot to pack extra contact lenses and ran back to the house to get them. As things turned out though, Sandra returned with time to spare and the morning bus ride was actually the smoothest, most pleasant and effortless part of our trip to Germany.

At the airport, our American Airlines ticket agent informed us our connecting flight in Chicago would most likely be canceled or delayed due to weather and there were no later flights to Frankfurt that night. She re-routed us through LAX on a flight that would go straight through to London. The only catch being that the plane didn't leave LAX for another 8 hours.

So we had time to spare, which was fortunate due to severe confusion between American Airlines and United (the company handling our shuttle to LAX). I'll spare the details, as they are unnecessarily confusing; but Sandra's summary characterizes everything pretty accurately -

United Airlines staff - Unfriendly.
American Airlines staff - Incompetent.

During this troubling period, we made sure to verify our bags were scheduled to arrive along with us at our final destination in Frankfurt because it would really suck if they didn't.

Our security screening was fine, we were rushed to the head of the line since our shuttle to LAX was leaving soon. Sandra went first, then the security guy came back to our waiting area and asked the rest of us, "Which one of you is with Bettie Page"?

Jonnie raised both arms in the air (for no apparent reason) like a man being arrested by the police and proudly exclaimed, "Me"!

At the terminal, we took a window seat where we could see the luggage cart as it approached the plane. We were extremely skeptical about our luggage making the journey with us.

While we were waiting, we heard an announcement through a nearby loudspeaker - "Would United Airlines passengers, Hall and Caruthers, please report to the terminal"?

After some time, only one man appeared at the terminal. We was bald and thin with protruding ears.

Jonnie: "Do you think that's Hall or Caruthers"?

Sandra: [very confidently] "Hall".

Jonnie: "I'll say 'Hall' loudly and we will see if he responds".

Sandra: [No response].

Jonnie: "Hall"!

The man responded by halting his conversation with the terminal agent and gazing right at the two of us.

Sandra immediately looked away in the opposite direction.

Jonnie laughed loudly.

I'm glad we didn't bet money this time, because Sandra was right. The man was probably Hall. Good job, Sandra.

After the man left, a second announcement came over the loudspeaker - "Would United Airlines passenger, Caruthers, please report to the terminal"?

That man we just observed was most definitely Hall and isn't it remarkable how well the two of us manage to entertain ourselves when left to our own devices?

Right about this time, lo and behold, we spotted our luggage being loaded onto the plane -

Sandra's & Jonnie's luggage.
So far, so good.

Time to board our shuttle to Los Angeles. I had previously heard about Sandra's fear of flying, but must admit I considered it an exaggeration since she has been flying all over the world since childhood. When a local acquaintance suggested a Mile High Club initiation during the flight, Sandra rolled her eyes and responded, "Try suggesting that after you've seen me on a plane".

Sandra is very selective about who pilots any plane she is flying in. The pilot must be well experienced and must appear competent and capable whether he really is or not. And yes, it must be a he. It eases her worried mind.

Our pilot on this particular flight was a young kid, probably fresh out of flight school. He was wearing sunglasses and sitting in the cabin next to an attractive stewardess. He kept messing with his hair. When I observed he will probably attempt a couple of of loops to impress the girls, Sandra was not amused.

Sandra characterized the shuttle flight as "horrible" and stated that she "HATED" it.
The plane was small with propellers on the wings and the turbulence was very noticeable. The plane's interior also reeked of mold. I'd never felt sweat in Sandra's palms until the plane fired up its engines. Mile High Club was not even an option.

Fortunately, this was the shortest flight either of us had ever been on. We were probably in the air no more than 10 or 15 minutes. We arrived safely in L.A. where we had to visit the ticketing booth again because Jonnie's boarding pass for the London-Frankfurt leg of our journey would not print at the previous airport. It would not print here either, but the ticket agent assured us it would probably print in London.

So, back through the security checkpoint and on to our 8 hour wait. It was now well into the afternoon and we decided to have a meal at the airport's Chili's where we could sit in low lighting for awhile.

Later, as we were reading magazines and generally lounging about in our terminal, we realized it had been 10 hours since we boarded the bus and we still had a 10 hour flight ahead of us. By boarding time, we would originally have already arrived in Germany if our flight had not been re-routed. Then again, it beats being stranded overnight in the Chicago airport due to weather cancellation. We realized we would now arrive in Germany during the evening and our plan to view castles from the train would no longer be possible. At this point though, we felt that just arriving in Germany at all would be sufficient cause for celebration. Sandra had a stomachache and Jonnie had a headache. We were getting pissed.

After a trip to Starbucks, we returned to our terminal and played a couple hands of Uno to pass the time. During game 2, Sandra gestured to a nearby pilot and commented, "Oh God, I hope that's not our pilot".

Jonnie had to agree. The pilot looked like death itself.

Sandra: "He looks like Frankenstein"!

Fortune smiled on us as this was not our pilot. The longest leg of our journey would be piloted by a man with the capable name, "Butch Sword". Sandra was pleased.

The flight itself was pretty smooth, but Sandra hated it nevertheless. Her stomachache and general nervousness prevented her from getting any sleep. Jonnie managed to sleep occasionally. If not for his desire to provide company for Sandra, he probably would have easily slept through the entire 10 hours.

The tiny lavatories put an end to any residual Mile High notions that may have lingered in Jonnie's easily distracted mind, but there was still much for him to be happy about. This was Jonnie's first international flight and there were free meals. There were also TV screens on the back of each seat and an ongoing flight map animation which was the source of endless entertainment for both of us. As Jonnie was chuckling and making comments about the King of the Hill episodes which we were watching, he realized that not everybody on the plane was wearing earphones and watching TV. He made a mental note to tone it down a little.

When we finally landed in London, it would be the first time Jonnie sat foot in Europe.

Meine Schwiegermutter ist Jung und Sehr Huebsch

2007-03-06T05:52:00.000-08:00

We're back from Germany and I don't have one bad thing to say about the Fatherland.

Prost!
We're way busy at the moment, but we plan to post a full account of the vacation as time permits.

Cheeks of a Snow Country Child

2007-02-14T05:49:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day!

Snack of the Day -
Kasugai Apple Gummy.

While these individually wrapped heart shaped gummies are especially delicious, it is the English product description that caught Sandra's eye and persuaded her to actually purchase the product -

The text reads -

Every drop of fresh apple juice carefully pressed from the reddest apples, shining in colors of the cheeks of a snow country child, is yours to enjoy in each soft and juicy Kasugai Apply Gummy.

Shining in colors of the cheeks of a snow country child!
How wonderful.

For Valentine's Day, we plan to drop by the Irvine Spectrum Center for some good cheesecake.

Oh! Also -
We're going to Germany in a week and a day!

I'm excited, but also kind of nervous since learning foreign languages has never been one of my strong points.

With my lack of foreign language ability in mind, I pruchased two little gadgets which record voice memos and I want Sandra to record one in German stating something to the effect of, "Hello. My name is Jonnie and I am lost. Please feed me and call my wife at the following phone number..."

Conditional Permanent Resident

2007-01-06T08:27:00.000-08:00

I took Friday off of work because we had our big immigration appointment in which our past year of filing forms and jumping through hoops would hopefully pay off. We're really lucky the state govt. offices are right here in our local neighborhood because a lot of people have to make day-trips for this sort of thing. In our case, it was just a 5 minute drive, if that.

We managed to entertain ourselves during the long waiting period (even though we were on time for our appointment). We were discussing the efficiency of government bureaucracy when something funny caught my eye -

There was a "No Communion" sign hanging on the wall! It was a graphic of bread, grapes, and a gold chalice inside a red circle with a red line through them. On closer inspection, it was actually a "No Food Or Drinks" sign. It totally matched the "No Cell Phones" sign which was a similar graphic, only with a picture of a cell phone inside the circle. Whoever made the "No Food Or Drinks" sign was apparently working from a limited selection of clip art. The bread and grapes must have been the only food image they had. It looked pretty funny, especially with the gold chalice. It looked like a Seperation of Church and State graphic.

Anyway, our meeting was short. I think we benefited from the fact that our 11:30 appointment was actually taking place at a quarter after noon when most of the office staff were hitting the elevators for lunch. We brought a book bag full of documents - everything we could possibly need. Three huge 3-ring binders and a few stuffed files.

[Sidenote: German 3-ring binders are WAY superior to American binders and I don't think it requires a trained archivist to appreciate the difference.]

In the end, Sandra was approved! She is now a "Conditional Permanent Resident" of the U.S.A. We won't have to do anything else with the immigration offices for 2 years.

Then our adjudicator commented, "OK. Let's wrap this up so I can go to lunch".

We celebrated by going out for seafood platters:

Sandra's Platter.

Jonnie's Platter.

On our way out, we stopped to admire a fish-themed bench -

Fish-Themed Bench.

Then we went home to unload our trunk full of interview documentation and library books.

Sandra hooked up Stanley Wood with his first taste of crab legs -

Stanley Wood's First Crab Legs.

And we fed Baby New Year some lobster for good luck -

Baby New Year Loves Lobster.

Baby New Year

2006-12-31T13:25:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year from Sandra and the Baby New Year (and Jonnie, not pictured).

Sandra with Baby New Year.
I'm not sure how long the name "Baby New Year" will stick with my favorite alley kitten. It's not as good as "Skeletor", but for today, it seems like a pretty good name.

"Deer Stanley Wood,

2006-12-23T20:33:00.000-08:00

we're sorry for ruining your evening by making you wear a stupid hat. But your loss was our gain. Merry Christmas.

Sandra and Jonnie

P.S.: We love you."

El Gigante

2006-12-17T07:32:00.000-08:00

After Christmas shopping last weekend, Sandra and I decided to grab a pizza on the way home. There is a nearby Mexican commercial plaza and I've really been wanting to check out La Pizza Loca for a long time. Their large pepperoni is only $4.99, but my eyes were drawn to the El Gigante for $12.99.

Sandra objected on the grounds that El Gigante just seemed way excessive. It looked like something that would feed 15-20 children at a birthday party. Knowing we both love cold pizza in the morning, I rationalized that if we got El Gigante, there should be plenty left over for the next morning. So we did it.

Sandra to Jonnie: "I can't believe you're going to order El Gigante [pictured in upper right hand corner]"!
When El Gigante arrived, I could barely contain my enthusiasm:

Jonnie with El Gigante.

Viva El Gigante!

In retrospect though, El Gigante wasn't anything spectacular in terms of taste. It was ok, but nothing like Round Table's new Artisan or even Whatta-Lotta Pizza's basic $6.99 pepperoni. El Gigante is mainly filler with not quite enough sauce for all that crust, although it is certainly a physically remarkable pizza appropriate for impressing small gatherings of children or drunks.

Aside from La Pizza Loca, this business plaza had a discount store called Mas 4 Less (which I recently described on The 99 Cent Store Blog), and a few other similarly named establishments.

My favorite was this one:

La Video.
This is especially notable because the sign actually reads "L.A. VIDEO", but the lights are burned out in the two abbreviation dots after the "L" and the "A"; so at night the sign reads "LA VIDEO", which fits the general overall theme of the plaza. I bet the owners are not really Mexican however. They are just trying to pass themselves off as such or they would be aware that the sign should properly read either "El Video" or "La Videa". They should've just left it "L.A. VIDEO" in my opinion. Poseurs.

What else is going on?

Yesterday was Picture Frame Saturday!

Stanley Wood - "Meow. Cat".

Sandra - "Hottie".

Merry Xmas from Stanley Wood

2006-12-08T05:39:00.000-08:00

Stanley Wood was photographed with Santa Claus last Saturday:

Ho Ho Ho!

He was not too thrilled, as you can probably tell from the photograph.

While most people brought dogs, the lady in front of us said somebody brought a snake last year. I would love to see a picture of Santa with a pet snake coiled around him.

Comfort is important to Stanley Wood. He would probably be impossible to travel with at all if Sandra hadn't picked up this handsome "cat carrying bag" for him:

A regular bag on one side.

The other side reveals a cat!

With this bag, you can carry a cat around with you quite covertly, even into the finer dining establishments.

Stanley Wood really held it together quite well, which we weren't really expecting. Aside from Sandra, he doesn't let people hold him. Well, except for Santa Claus.

We keep our photo in this handsome Christmas frame:

Smile!

2006-12-01T04:47:00.000-08:00

Jonnie & Sandra on surveillance camera at a local mexican eatery:

Close Up:

Backstreet Cats

2006-11-27T13:05:00.000-08:00

We don't just hold fancy Thanksgiving dinners for the stray cats in the backyard, we also feed them on a regular basis and we play with them. The favorite game is "get off of our porch, stupid cat!" with a close second being "don't go in there, motherf***!". But seriously, we already grew attached to all of them and couldn't live without all the singing and scratching anymore.

We gave them names too and started to take pictures of them.

Robin Gibb

Andy and Barry Gibb

Maurice Gibb

Smithers

Skeletor (who missed the Thanksgiving feast)

Chicken (named so because she tried to steal some chicken from our kitchen once - I foolishly left the window open)

Starvin' Marvin (with Andy and Barry Gibb)

John Mark Karr

The Big Baller (because of his cojones grande... mui grande)

Rumsfeld (the craziest and loudest of them all)

Tiggi!!!! We love Tiggi! At least 3 of our neighbors claim that Tiggi is their cat, because he is the friendliest of the cats and always approaches people and begs for food. He's the only well-fed cat outside.

More to come! Many more, I'm afraid... .

Holiday Greetings from the Black Bettie Death Cult

2006-11-27T06:12:00.000-08:00

Sandra & Stanley Wood.

What we want for Christmas this year:

The Century "Bob" Body Opponent
Or The Century "Bob" Body Opponent with Groin

It's a way cool punching bag formed to look like a human (a body builder no less).

They have a few on display at a local sports supplier and Sandra and I always admire them through the window.

Cat Thanksgiving

2006-11-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

Our community totally neglects their cats, leaving them to survive on trash.

Sandra and I love the alley cats and frequently treat them to scraps of food. Last night we decided to host a Cat Thanksgiving by feeding them our turkey carcass after we trimmed off the choice portions of meat for ourselves.

The carcass still remained pretty meaty, especially by alley cat standards. Cat Thanksgiving was a success by all accounts.

It began on our back porch -

But soon, the feast was carried to the streets as cats began hauling off their own personalized portions:

Sharing a wing.

The celebration gradually accumulated more and more cats, which was all the better as far as we were concerned.

Everything was handled in a civilized manner, there was surprisingly little fighting and hissing. There was plenty for everybody. As more cats arrived, other cats found themseles totally stuffed and they retired to the shadows for a nap.

We estimated 15-20 alley cats were fed:

[ Click to view larger image. ]

Nobody was disappointed in the least bit, especially Sandra and I who were quite proud of ourselves. Everybody ate their fill, accept for a white cat who we've named Skeletor. He was absent and came home this morning to find the clean bones. I think he's pissed he missed the event.

I uploaded some video footage as well:
Part I (The Introduction)
Part II (Free-for-All)

Cat Thanksgiving, 2006.

We encourage everybody to hold their own Cat Thanksgivings as annual events.

Black Bettie's First Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T06:44:00.000-08:00

We picked up the deluxe Thanksgiving dinner package from a local supermarket. It reportedly feeds 6-10 people, but we estimate it would actually feed about 4 or 5 hearty eaters like ourselves. Anyway, we didn't invite anybody (except for AmyJo who is in the Tallahassee Zen monastery and celebrating Thanksgiving by eating a nutloaf) so we really had quite a feast.

The dinner included a bigass turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, dinner rolls, and a pumpkin pie.

Supplemental items we picked up included whipped cream for the pie, a $1 cooking pan for the turkey, and some nice Hefeweizens.

Anticipating the upcoming feast, we hit the gym on Wednesday night where one girl was amazed that Sandra had never eaten turkey before and that Thanksgiving is not celebrated in Germany.

I haven't cooked a turkey in about 5 years, but it must be like riding a bike because this one came out fine:

Jonnie & Sandra's first Thanksgiving turkey.

In this photo, you may notice I am giving a double "thumbs up", though it isn't very evident when wearing oven mitts -

Thumbs Up.

We have lots of leftovers and will have a second feast tonight (before revisiting the gym).

First Quarterversary

2006-11-22T22:41:00.000-08:00

Our first 3 months of marriage have gone by without a hitch.
We celebrated our first quarterversary last weekend by revisiting our wedding site at Laguna Beach. Since the temperature was still in the 90s, everything was pretty much as we remembered it last summer, aside from the missing free shuttle (it only runs in July and August apparantly, but it was no big deal because parking spaces were a lot easier to come by than they were last summer).

Sandra & Jonnie Revisit Laguna Beach.

The Wedding Gazeebo.

Sandra on the Gazeebo Trail.

One interesting discovery was this flier -

"Come laugh with us - by the sea".

Apparently our wedding gazeebo also serves as a weekly meeting place for a group of laughter enthusiasts. It is a sort of yoga. Everybody meets and laughs until they feel happy. I guess that's a pretty positive vibe for a wedding setting.

Mr. & Mrs. Gi11iom

2006-11-12T10:07:00.000-08:00

Exploring our new community.

3 Interesting Things

2006-11-11T10:47:00.000-08:00

1. Sandra and I stopped at a local street fair last night and, among the game booths, a local chiropractor had set up a stand offering a free spinal exam. I have ongoing back aches and neck-related headaches, so I thought I could maybe benefit form a free exam. After I entered his booth, I almost immediately regretted it because a chiropractor can probably find something abnormal in almost any spine; but the consultation was free so I didn't wander off.

I expected him to find spinal irregularities and to give me a sales pitch about the benefits of chiropractic treatment, but I wasn't at all prepared for what actually came to light.

Apparently, my right leg is about an inch shorter than my left leg!

This distorts the pelvis and pulls on the lower vertebrae which can occasionally lead to pinched nerves!

I was kind of pissed. I didn't want to hear that I was asymmetrical. Luckily it isn't terribly evident in my normal day-to-day interactions.

I still didn't commit to further chiropractic care. I think I'm just gonna put an insole or a piece of cardboard in my right shoe to even myself out.

I can't commend this chiropractor enough on how clever he was to set up that stand at the street fair though. It was in a working class part of town and there were a lot of dudes wandering around with their families after a hard day of work. I bet a lot of them did have back pain and probably opted for the free exam while their kids were standing in line for the Tilt-A-Whirl. We must respect that clever clever chiropractor.

2. Sandra and I have a favorite local Mexican restaurant now.
Tacos Mexico with locations in Santa Ana, Las Vegas, Tijuana, and Guadalahara. Pretty authentic mexican food, reminiscent of the Los Angeles roadside taco stands. Low prices, huge portions, red neon, lots of mirrors on the walls, and open 24 hours. What's not to like?

Tacos Mexico.

Huge burrito on paper plate for scale.

Jukebox Selections.

3. Here's something odd I thought I'd post before I lose my notes.

Awhile back, I was getting mysterious text messages on my cell phone from a wrong number.

The first message was:
all this wicked ugliness for a pair of shoes, a book, and you asking what crystal said when she came over. i don't think you recall what i said. i am appalled

Then:
at my reacting to such petty childishness. i shouldnt have responded to your t message. we need to leave each other alone. I am and havent really been or

And finally:
felt loved by you. i do and will always love you

I ignored the messages (though in retrospect, I wish I would have responded. That would've been a good conversation). Then about an hour later, I got part 2:

i'm scared. a frontal lobotomy comes to mind

??????

And then finally:

you wish me dead, but what's wrong? wow.

I really should have told her she was sending these to the wrong person. She was assuming my silence meant that the messages' intended recipient wished her dead.

Summary:
My right leg is shorter than my left leg.
Clever clever chiropractor.
We love Tacos Mexico.
My cell phone number closely resembles somebody else's.

Brushes with Greatness

2006-11-05T17:52:00.000-08:00

At the Santa Ana mall today, we saw Hello Kitty in person! She was greeting people outside Sanrio and seemed pretty friendly to everybody regardless of age or personal cleanliness. Unfortunately, we didn't bring the camera with us.

Sandra suggested asking Hello Kitty to join us in a nearby photo booth; which seemed like a great idea until we realized her huge head would probably not fit in the photo booth, especially in conjunction with two other people.

Instead we just took a photo of ourselves in Sanrio's photo booth -

Hello Sandra & Jonnie
It seemed like an acceptable compromise. Plus these photos are printed on stickers.

After our challenging parking fiasco earlier, we were unwilling to sacrifice our hard-won parking spot just to drive home for the camera.

The Gilli0m Cat...

2006-10-08T22:12:00.000-07:00

is online now.

Check out little Stanley Wood's myspace page.

Whatchu Talkin' 'Bout, Argentina?

2006-09-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

Shortly after our wedding last month, Esla (half of our unmarried crack legal team) was flown to Argentina on business. A week or two later, I received a package from my lawyer, Jon David, containing my very own Argentinian Gary Coleman t-shirt!

Authentic Argentinian Gary Coleman T-Shirt.

I've posted a photo of this shirt before on Rebel Leady Boy Scrapbook, but I never thought I would have one of my own.

This low resolution photo doesn't really do the shirt justice, because the multi-colored Gary Coleman panels are actually seperate squares of fabric which have been sewn onto the black t-shirt.

I think this shirt is so cool, I made an animated .gif -

Jonnie models the Gary Coleman t-shirt while eating a roll.

Supplement:

My lawyer, Jon David, comments: "The hip Argentinians are a thin people, so be careful drying the T". This is a fairly small t-shirt, though it is an Argentinian XL. I'm going to air dry it, possibly hanging from a line outside, so I can show it off to the neighbors.

My lawyer, Jon David, follows up with another email:

I just realized that even if the shirt is shrunk, the Gary Coleman flags can be removed and sewn on a different shirt (or anything else). Brilliant Argentinians.

That is so true!

And, alternately, you could sew one Gary Coleman patch onto 6 seperate shirts or ties. One for almost every day of the week.

This is the most versatile shirt I've ever owned.

Danke Jon David and Esla!!

New Location

2006-09-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

Our move went extremely well. We are hardcore.
Until yesterday, we had a problem with our phone service though. While the phone service had apparently been activated, the line still sounded dead from our phone.

A phone technician came out yesterday and was met at the door by Sandra, who immediately asked him about how the billing worked and what the repair cost would be.

When he mentioned a $55 home visitation fee just for entering the house, Sandra brought the phone outside to him (we have a really long cord) and asked him to test the line outside for free. He did and the problem was due to faulty installation, so we were not billed for the repairs. Also, we were not charged a $55 home visitation fee since the technician never entered the house.

Good job, Sandra!
I have a clever, clever wife.

Bette Davis Hands

2006-09-19T05:40:00.000-07:00

When we stopped by that Chinese theater on Hollywood Blvd, we noticed the tiniest pair of hand prints we've even seen. They belonged to Bette Davis and, surprisingly, Sandra's hands fit into the prints exactly. She's got Bette Davis hands.

A bystander commented, "Oh my god! Her hands fit in there"!

Bette Davis Hands.

And, fortunately, Jonnie's feet are nothing like R2D2's -

R2D2 Feet.

Wedding Week Retrospective, Day 8

2006-09-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, August 23:
Frau Thum's Departure

[Note: Sandra & Jonnie are in the process of moving to our own apartment. We're tired of renting a room in a house full of people and sharing a kitchen, so I thought I'd finish posting the Wedding Week project before we found ourselves in a non-Internet transitional phase.]

After breakfast, we checked out of the motel for good and drove Frau Thum to LAX for her long flight back to Germany. Jonnie wore his German flag shirt again because he loved it so much.

As we left, the local International Crossroads Festival which we attended in 2004, was being set up. We briefly saluted German Street:

German Strasse.

Frau Thum still hated the California traffic, but we made it to LAX without incident.

Once we checked in at the International Terminal, the three of us browsed the duty-free shops and refreshed ourselves at the International food court.

Jonnie spilled his second drink in two days and had a CAUTION - SPILL sign placed directly in front of him until it could be mopped up. [Jonnie comments: spilling your drink wouldn't be such an ordeal if they would just make napkins more readilly available].

Jonnie's 2nd spill in 2 days.

Sandra had a difficult time convincing Frau Thum that Jonnie did not do this all the time (and, in fact, had never done it before).

Jonnie & Sandra got Frau Thum a USA eagle to remember us by and Frau Thum immediately named it, "IHOP" to everybody's delight.

Frau Thum with IHOP.

We enjoyed a sushi-sampler from Sushi Boy then soon it was time for Frau Thum to board her flight.

Jonnie & Sandra observed her plane from the parking lot. Sandra was really sad. We saw the air catering company load the food, so we knew Frau Thum would not go hungry.

Loading the chicken dinners.

As it turned out, we could have visited with Frau Thum another hour, because her flight was delayed. But we didn't know it at the time. We drove back to the OC, kind of dazed that everything was over so quickly after months of anticipation and planning.

Wedding Week Retrospective, Day 7

2006-09-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, August 22:
Hollywood

After breakfast at Denny's, we drove Uncle Jon to LAX for his flight back to Anchorage. We intended to buy a few cantaloupe melons from our local Produce World for Uncle Jon to take back to Alaska with him since produce is way overpriced up there; but as it turned out, a stop at Produce World just wasn't in the cards.

And that's a good thing too, because when Uncle Jon checked in his luggage at the airport, his bag was exactly the allowable weight. The baggage lady remarked on this as a "lucky" circumstance, which is true because if we brought cantaloupes, we would've had to unpack and eat them right there in the airport. Or perhaps Uncle Jon would have to part with his free pot from Laguna Hills to make room for a cantaloupe and then Sandra and I would have one more thing to pack when we move.

The Southwestern Airlines staff let us go the wrong direction since we didn't tip them, then came running after us; stating that "We'll take care of you, if you take care of us". Uncle Jon slipped him some cash and they carried our bags to the correct check-in point. We thought that was a little annoying, since they were apparently paid employees drawing an hourly wage, but whatever.

After Uncle Jon boarded his flight, the newly-weds & Frau Thum decided to visit Hollywood since we were in the neighborhood.

Frau Thum hated the Hollywood traffic worse than any other traffic to date.

Jonnie wore his new German flag shirt:

Jonnie on the Walk of Fame, with Governor Schwarzenegger's Star.

We parked under the famous Kodak Theater, site of the annual Oscar awards. As we strolled down Hollywood Blvd., Jonnie had one piece of business to attend to:

Nearly two years ago, Brother Todd emailed a request for a photo of Jane Froman's star on the Walk of Fame. Jane Froman was apparently a Missouri native who went on to perform in show business, I believe as a singer. She was a good friend of Frank Sinatra and that whole crew. Brother Todd was acquainted with her through working as a Manuscript Specialist at the Western Heritage archives and he thought since she had a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, the archive would like a picture of it for her upcoming anniversary. Even though Jonnie missed her anniversary by over a year, he thought the archive might still want a picture of her star; so he was keeping an eye out for it.

While strolling along, Jonnie got a cellphone call from our lawyer, Jon David, who was already back at work in Texas. He said he intended to mail us a CD of wedding pictures immediately (which he did, being the model of efficiency that he is).

Frau Thum is a Star.

Among other diversions on Hollywood Blvd., Frau Thum got a new pair of sunglasses and Jonnie got a skull bracelet. Sandra tried on some vintage clothing. The clothing store had some old authentic Asian gang jackets with skull patches on them that were SO COOL. So cool, in fact, that they were selling for nearly $200 each; so we passed on them.

We enjoyed some delicious smoothies and shakes, then stopped by McDonalds later for a drink. As the Thum women were in the restroom, Jonnie accidentally spilled his Coke all over the table while trying to attach the lid to the cup. When Jonnie couldn't find any napkins, he moved to a different table and sat there instead. Frau Thum didn't seem to believe it when he said he usually doesn't spill his drinks all over the table.

On our walk back to the parking garage, Sandra suddenly exclaimed, "Jane Froman"!

Jonnie responded with, "Who's that"?
Then remembered Jane Froman's star was the one he was looking for.

Jane Froman's Star of Fame.

A little bit later, Frau Thum also exclaimed, "Jane Froman"!!

Jane Froman must've been something in her day, because she had two stars, one for recording artist and one for live radio performance. We took pictures of both to send to the archive.

As we neared our parking garage, we noticed the local Scientology center was offering free IQ tests, but we weren't in the mood:

Free Scientology IQ tests.

We returned to Orange County where we did some last minute shopping and went out to dinner.

Dinner: Fuji Grill. Jonnie & Sandra's local favorite. With only a few stores in existence (all in the OC), this chain offers affordable sushi bowls engineered for maximum health benefits. Calorie content is carefully monitored and nothing is ever fried. It also happens to be delicious. Jonnie & Sandra visited the Orange Fuji Grill shortly after they opened in the summer of 2004 and we have been loyal customers ever since. We all got the Half and Half combo with salad and a sushi appetizer. We all love Fuji Grill. Yay, Fuji Grill!

Wedding Week Retrospective, Day 6

2006-09-15T05:27:00.000-07:00

Monday, August 21:
A Day of Recreational Pursuits

Monday began with the Missouri G1ll1oms' departure, leaving only Jonnie, Sandra, Frau Thum, and Uncle Jon. The four of us drove out to the Irvine Spectrum Center for some window shopping:

Irvine Spectrum Center.

Frau Thum & the Newlyweds.

At ISC, we browsed a selection of huge stores, then forced Frau Thum onto a ferris wheel, ignoring her protests. Sandra bought a book about our president for Uncle Jon - it was a collection of quotations, all the stupid things he has said in public; for Uncle Jon to read on tomorrow's flight back to Alaska. Jonnie bought a cool t-shirt with the German flag printed on it.

We also dropped by the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory for some candy apples. We love the new wave of candy apples. They used to be very common, then they disappeared, now they are back better than ever.

I think what entertained us most at ISC was the fountain outside their giant Target store. It was just a series of holes in a star pattern. At irregular intervals, globs of water shot up in the air out different holes:

Our Favorite ISC Fountain.

We all displayed our nerve by indulging in a sort of fountain-roulette in which we would walk calmly over the fountain, ignoring the risk of being shot in the crotch with a water globule. Nobody was hit in the crotch by water and we all congratulated ourselves, then went into Target for a few odds and ends.

Once we were through shopping, we returned to Orange for dinner.

Frau Thum SO hated traffic today.

Dinner: Charo Chicken. Charo Chicken went over so well on Day 2, we thought Uncle Jon should try it as well. We all got the Papa Charo meal and Uncle Jon got a free Charo Chicken refrigerator magnet. Jonnie also grabbed a magnet to send to Todd and Amanda. Jonnie & Sandra did not get magnets for themselves as they already have two. They are the only magnets on their refrigerator that are not from E. Tawas, Michigan [courtesy of Boz].

Then on to Camelot mini-golf/laser-tag/video arcade/all purpose entertainment center. The Gillioms would compete against the Thums in a high stakes game of mini-golf.

While there are plenty of authentic castles in Sandra's hometown of Braubach:

Marksburg Castle; Braubach, Germany - Visible from Frau Thum's house.

California has its share of castles as well:

Camelot mini-golf/laser-tag/video arcade/all purpose entertainment center.

The Thums won the mini-golf challenge. Sandra had the best score, followed by Frau Thum, then Uncle Jon, and finally Jonnie with the worst score. Fortunately, we already ate, so the losing team did not have to buy dinner as previously discussed.

Uncle Jon on the Camelot course.

The Thum women examine dangerous golf obstacle - a narrow bridge with raging waters below.

After the match, we went inside to cool off with ICEEs and for some visits to the pendant engraving machine. The pendant engraving machine is modeled after the classic photo booth - a series of three snapshots is taken, then you can choose the one you want to keep. It is then engraved with lasers onto a metal pendant, making a swell souvineer.

Here is Frau Thum's pendant:

The Newlyweds - Jonnie & Sandra.

The snapshots are taken from a digital video, the output of which is displayed on an external monitor. Jonnie had the brilliant idea of using his camera to record the video output monitor for posting on You Tube.
Here it is [click to play]:

Our lips look purple.

Finally, as we were enjoying our ICEEs, we were watching some local kids play the Dance, Dance, Revolution dance video game. They looked so cool, we wanted to try to; but being our first time, it was a total waste of a dollar. We determined to get the home version of Dance, Dance, Revolution and practice a little bit before performing in public again.

Wedding Week Retrospective, Day 5

2006-09-13T05:53:00.000-07:00

Sunday, August 20:
The Boat of Matrimony

This was kind of a day of rest.
Sandra & Jonnie slept in as late as our 11:00 check-out would allow, then we stopped by our permanent living quarters to call Granny Thum and Hanni in Germany. When Jonnie spoke to Granny Thum, he told her, "Du bist ein Singvogel" (which would translate as, "You are a songbird"). Granny Thum replied that she is specifically "A nightengale"!

By the time Jonnie and Sandra made it to the motel, it was early afternoon. Our unmarried legal team would be catching their flight home soon. The Missouri G1ll1oms went to check out Newport Beach before returning to the landlocked midwest. The newly wed couple spent the day in the pool with Uncle Jon and Frau Thum. The parents were carrying on and apparently having way to much fun, probably talking crap about their kids.

Jonnie & Sandra brought the floatie thing into the pool and renamed it The Boat of Matrimony. Statements such as, "Stop rocking the boat of matrimony" and "That sounds like an iceburg just waiting for the boat of matrimony to smash into it" entertained us for hours. Then Jonnie stated, "If it weren't for the boat of matrimony, I'd be drowning in poontang".

The Boat of Matrimony.

The Missouri G1ll1oms returned from Newport Beach and we all went out for dinner.

Dinner: Claim Jumpers. We love Claim Jumpers. Seared ahi rolls for an appetizer. Cheesecake for dessert.

Lemon Brulee Cheesecake.

Also, while Uncle Jon was eating a calzone, his temporary wired-on tooth came off and he swallowed it! The tooth had already been root-cannalled, so there was no pain. We're lucky he didn't choke on it. It apparently went down pretty smoothly.

At dinner, somebody's lemon had the little wrap thing on it for keeping seeds and pulp off the food when a customer wants to squeeze lemon juice over their dinner. We thought this was a pretty practical device and asked the waiter what it was called. The waiter replied it was called a "booty". Todd then commented, "Nice booty"; which prompted the waiter to respond, "You're talking about the lemon, right"?

This was the first day in which Frau Thum had no reason to hate the California traffic.

Wedding Week Retrospective, Day 4

2006-09-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

Saturday, August 19:
The Big Day

Our wedding day started out with a very favorable omen.
Early in the morning, Sandra noticed that a cat with dirty feet had walked over our car at some point in the evening, leaving a trail of paw prints:

Lucky Cat Tracks.
We started the day with a family breakfast at IHOP, courtesy of Frau Thum. Our unmarried lawyers, Jon David & Esla; were tending to some other business in Newport Beach.

Since breakfast began pretty late in the morning, Jonnie & the Missouri G1ll1oms ran a series of pre-breakfast errands, such as:

1.) Driving out to Mile High Comics in Garden Grove, then discovering the building had been demolished.

2.) Picking up a fresh tube of Super Sexy hair goop since Jonnie had misplaced his.

and 3.) Visiting Target for a few things. At the checkout, La Mina was on the verge of tears, so Jonnie & Brother Todd entertained her by jumping around in a nearby mirror and making ridiculous faces. After persisting with this horseplay, a worker walked out of a nearby hallway and commented, "Thanks for the show". We were apparently dancing around in front of a one-way mirror with the employee break room on the other side.

At IHOP, everybody made a short video speech at breakfast and discussed last minute details, then we all split up to take care of various errands. This is the last Jonnie and Sandra would see of each other until the wedding ceremony.

Sandra picked up the wedding flowers she ordered while Jonnie checked into the honeymoon suite (at a separate, but nearby, motel) and stocked it with snacks and some drinks. He didn't want it to be oppressively hot when he & Sandra arrived later that evening, so he cranked up the air conditioner before leaving, letting it run all day. Finally, he checked the TV and found the remote control didn't work, so he went to the desk and reported the problem. They said they would bring a new one by the room.

Jonnie called and verified that the parking spaces were reserved at Laguna Beach and then it was just a long nervous wait until the time of departure. Jonnie would drive with Uncle Jon, while Sandra & Frau Thum would drive separately with the Missouri G1ll1oms. Our unmarried legal team would meet us all there, driving a 3rd vehicle. Jonnie reserved 4 parking spots just in case something unforeseen occurred and we somehow had an extra car appear out of thin air.

Jonnie accompanied Todd to a nearby snack shop which was owned by a very pleasant Indian family. They were playing really loud Indian music and we all hit it off well. The checkout lady declared that Brother Todd was now her "oldest son" and then he asked for a family discount; so she gave him a free banana to match the one he bought for La Mina. Jonnie got a Gatorade to steady his nerves.

When Jonnie & Uncle Jon arrived at Laguna Beach, they encountered our unmarried legal team, Jon David & Esla. Jonnie was a nervous mess at this point and the flower he pinned to his shirt was apparently not attractively arranged. Fortunately, Esla's family are expert florists and she was able to re-attach the flower properly (Here we discovered that Jonnie had somehow bent one of the metal pins out of shape when attaching it himself).

Last minute consultation between Jonnie and his lawyer, Jon David.
Uncle Jon got himself a coffee, then we all headed to the gazebo where we met our officiant, Beverly. Jonnie handed over the marriage license and a check for the balance of her wedding fee, then we waited for the bride to arrive.

Waiting for the Bride.
The bride had apparently arrived early, so they stopped at a scenic "wildlife view" point where they watched a guy crash his remote controlled plane into a cliff.

Soon Brother Todd appeared as an advance gazebo scout, making sure everybody was in the gazebo. He then went back to tell the bride that the ceremony was still on.

Soon the bride appeared and, before we knew it, the ceremony had started.
Jonnie's legs went totally numb.

Here Comes the Bride (accompanied by Frau Thum).
We stood in a heart of rose petals and exchanged vows.
The ceremony was short, lovely, and non-religious with perfect sunset lighting. The wind was blowing Sandra's dress up constantly and she later stated that she thinks the wind makes her look pregnant in a lot of the pictures.

The Rose Petal Heart.
When we brought out the rings, Beverly commented, "Those titanium rings are cool". When we were repeating vows, there was a line in German and Jonnie was so frazzled, he didn't notice the transition. As Beverly began, "Mitt.."; Jonnie repeated "Commit", since he was trying to figure out what she just said and that was the most appropriate word he could think of that sounded close. Then he realized this was the German part and he screwed up. Sandra was the only one who noticed at the time. Finally, Beverly introduced us as man and wife to scattered applause from bystanders:

Mr. and Mrs. RebelLeadyBoy.
After the ceremony, we returned to a well-decorated wedding vehicle (complete with long streamers that would blow in the wind while driving!) and proceeded down the Pacific Coast Highway to make good on our reservations at Ti Amo Ristorante.

Wedding Mobile.
Dinner: Ti Amo. Jonnie & Sandra pulled out of the parking lot last, but arrived at the restaurant first. We were kind of concerned that everybody else had the wrong address and had continued driving. Soon, our unmarried legal team, Jon David & Esla, appeared and we went in to find the reservation desk. Ti Amo was bustling inside. It was packed as a good restaurant should be. As Jonnie approached the reservation desk, he was totally sidetracked when somebody brought out a tray of fried mozzarella. He went for that, then gave Sandra a taste, then started talking to an old couple who asked if we were just married. Sandra reminded him that it was time to claim our reservation before they gave it to somebody else.

The Missouri G1ll1oms & Frau Thum suddenly appeared, then we all went to our table:

Welcome to Ti Amo.
Our lawyer, Jon David, chose the champagne; brother Todd made a toast; our lawyer, Jon David, was going to make a second toast, but we were sidetracked by the appetizers. The menus were printed on stone tablets, resembling Biblical commandments. Past celebrity diners (such as Mick Jagger and George Bush, Sr.) had signed their menus and they were now hanging on the walls of Ti Amo.

Sandra & Frau Thum had the lamb, Todd had duck, Amanda had scallops; our unmarried lawyers, Jon David & Esla, had something too (perhaps they will report in the comments). Jonnie & Uncle Jon ordered a seafood combination platter served over a bed of coconut rice. It got our vote for best presentation because it was served on kabobs hanging from a metal fish:

Seafood Kabobs.
Best photo goes to Brother Todd, who illustrated his dinner (duck) by holding up a page from one of his daughter's animal books:

Todd had the duck.
Frau Thum illustrated her lamb with a page from the same book, but that photo is on the Missouri G1ll1oms' camera and we are still waiting to see those pictures.

[ Note: Sandra now considers our lawyer, Jon David, a "model of efficiency" since a CD containing his wedding photos appeared at our door the following Monday (or Tuesday). ]

After dinner, we all retired to our respective motels. Frau Thum brought gifts from Sandra's hometown of Braubach, Germany. Then soon, Mr. and Mrs. RebelLeadyBoy were off to our honeymoon suite, which was freezing when we arrived and there was no new remote control. Jonnie turned down the air conditioner and resolved the remote control issue, then we went about the wedding night activities.

Day 3, Post Script

2006-09-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

As we were riding the free shuttle back from Laguna Beach, some community members who boarded at one stop were carrying handmade pots, fresh from the potter's wheel.

They sat in front of Uncle Jon, who is adept at small-talk and immediately started asking them all about the pot and whether or not they made it themselves.

Laguna is packed with artists and studios and if you live there, you apparently develop a keen eye for what is valuable and what is disposable; because this lady seemed to think her pot was nothing special. She probably had a bunch of them at home already. At any rate, she gave the pot to Uncle Jon to take back to Alaska with him for free.

Uncle Jon & Brother Todd with Free Pot Outside the Free Laguna Shuttle.

[Note: I will probably get a lot of search engine traffic now from people looking for "free pot"]

Detail.

Nice.

Wedding Week Retrospective, Day 3

2006-09-06T05:56:00.000-07:00

Friday, August 18:
Everybody Made It

I arrived at the motel early to meet Brother Todd for breakfast then the two of us were scheduled to pick up our father, Uncle Jon, at the LAX airport later that morning. Sandra & Frau Thum slept-in and planned to visit the swimming pool until we returned.

Traffic wasn't too bad and Todd & I arrived at LAX early. We were trying to amuse ourselves when Todd described something he used to do when he was a taxi cab driver in Alaska. When he was parked at the airport and business was slow, he would return the luggage carts to their rack and collect the 25 cent deposit. I thought this was a pretty clever way to pass the time, but unfortunately the LAX luggage carriers take debit and credit cards, so there is no returned coin deposit. But we tried.

Then about 20 minutes before Uncle Jon's arrival, we noticed an unattended bottle of liquid sitting right there in the airport:

Unattended Bottle of Liquid.

Sure it said Gatorade on the label, but that doesn't mean it was actually Gatorade. We amused ourselves by trying to work up the nerve to report it without laughing. We also saw an airport security agent walk right by it. She didn't even notice it was there. Maybe she was on break. We tried to tell a guy in the parking lot about it, but he looked too mean with his gun and bullet proof vest; so we set off to find somebody with a clipboard instead. About the time we determined we couldn't report the unattended bottle without laughing, we noticed it was gone and were glad we didn't report it because they probably would've thought we were pulling their leg.

Uncle Jon arrived safely, although with a broken tooth. It snapped off while he was eating a bag of almonds. He thinks somebody must've put a rock in there. He had a prosthetic tooth under production in Anchorage and had the original tooth wired in place to get him through the week.

Once we all caught up in the OC, we decided to hit the beach. After considering other beaches, we decided on returning to Laguna since it was our favorite beach and we wanted everyone to be familiar with the wedding site and with the parking spaces we reserved next to the Royal Hawaiian Restaurant.

Laguna Beach was still lovely:

[ Click to view larger image. ]

After we rode in on the free shuttle, Todd & Amanda had to go back to determine whether they actually lost a bag of money or if they just forgot it in the car. The rest of us passed the time by having some cool drinks and then Sandra bought a floatie. We almost got a body board, but decided a floatie would be more versatile since we could use that in the pool as well. Somebody told us we could get it blown up at the gas station next door, but the only air pump they had was for tires and the nozzle was incompatible; so we blew it up ourselves.

About this time, the Missouri G1ll1oms returned with their bag of money. They had indeed left it in the car and it was not lost on the free shuttle as was previously assumed. We were all relieved and immediately jumped in the ocean:

Todd and Uncle Jon take a dip in the ocean.

As we were carousing around on the beach, my cell phone rang and it was my lawyer, Jon David! He had arrived in California with his significant other, Esla. I gave him directions to Laguna so he could come on down and meet us there.

About the time they arrived, we were appreciating the Dogs Playing Poker tapestry that Boz sent us as a weddng gift. It had just been sitting in his garage for 20 years and that is a shame because it's a great beach blanket.

Esla & Jon David, our (unmarried) crack legal team, with the Boz Tapestry.

By the time we all got back to home-base, there was no change in Frau Thum's hatred of California traffic.

Dinner: Claim Jumper. A favorite spot our ours; great food, big portions. We all admired the slice of Motherlode chocolate cake that was on display. Sandra and Uncle Jon had tri-tips, Jonnie had Whisky Chicken (it was chicken with whiskey applesauce on it!), Frau Thum had halibut, Esla had the pot roast; and my lawyer, Jon David, had a calzone with marinara sauce instead of the "fett sauce" suggested by out waitress. The Missouri G1ll1oms sat this dinner out since La Mina was tired. Cheesecake for desert and Frau Thum asked what kind of schnapps they had, our waitress clarified, "You only want one schnap"? Compared to German schnapps, these were too fruity and wattered down.

Jonnie moved into the motel as well, taking the second bed in Uncle Jon's room.

Tomorrow would be the big day.

Wedding Week Retrospective, Day 2

2006-09-05T06:55:00.000-07:00

Thursday, August 17:
Arrival of the Missouri G1ll1oms

Everybody woke up early, though Sandra would have gladly slept-in if Jonnie hadn't been so perky & interactive at 5:00am.

Meanwhile, back at the motel, Frau Thum woke up extraordinarily early and was ready to go even before we were, so Sandra & Jonnie drove out to the motel bright and early; then shortly before reaching their destination, had to return home when Jonnie realized he left his Groom to Be button in the bedroom.
He thought it might be bad luck not to go back after it.

So, by the time we all met for breakfast, everybody had been up for hours already.
Sandra moved her stuff into Frau Thum's room, where she intended to stay for the duration of her visit (except for the wedding night) in order to maximize their time together.

The Missouri G1ll1oms would not arrive until afternoon, so we planned to show Frau Thum the cat shelter where Sandra volunteers then off to Laguna Beach to examine the wedding site.

We got on the road and Sandra immediately forgot about the cat shelter, inquiring why we were not going straight to the beach.

Visiting the katzen was a pleasure, as always; then we were off to Laguna Beach. We parked on the outskirts town and took the free shuttle to the beach:

The Free Laguna Shuttle.
Laguna Beach was as lovely as ever:

[ Click to view larger image. ]
And we showed Frau Thum our gazeebo (the site of our impending wedding):

[ Click to view larger image. ]
Instead of a farmhouse chicken, the Laguna Beach gazeebo has a dolphin on the weather thing:

We toured the beach, Jonnie's boots got soaked, Frau Thum got wet, then we wished we brought our swimming suits and decided to wade out into the ocean. When Jonnie realized his underwear did not have a pee-hole in them and, in fact, looked quite like swimming trunks; he opted to swim in his underwear.

Everybody enjoyed the day and Jonnie & Frau Thum almost audioblogged "Young Girl" from the beach via cellphone, but decided to do it later (then forgot about it and never did it).

On the drive home from Laguna Beach; our lawyer, Jon David, called my cellphone from Texas and informed me the Missouri G1ll1oms had arrived in California and were on their way to the motel.

We actually arrived at the motel before the Missouri G1ll1oms and Jonnie spent quite a bit of time scrutinizing each car that pulled into the motel parking lot; exclaiming, "That's Them", regardless of ethnicity or whether they looked anything like the Missouri G1ll1oms or not.

For awhile, Sandra thought Brother Todd shaved his head for the wedding until Jonnie corrected himself, "No...that's not them".

After greeting the Missouri G1ll1oms (Brother Todd, his wife Amanda, and daughter La Mina), they were assigned a room near Frau Thum's once they declared themselves part of the wedding party. Then as soon as they unpacked, Todd informed us we have a swimming pool. We had no idea there was a pool, so Todd pretty much saved the day.

Dinner: Charo Chicken. An OC chicken chain started by renegade El Pollo Loco workers. High quality food, very reasonable price.

Wedding Week Retrospective, Day 1

2006-09-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, August 16:
Frau Thum's Arrival

Sandra & I slept well, having hit the gym pretty hard the previous night.

We had been wearing these Bride to Be and Groom to Be buttons for a couple of days and wore them more-or-less constantly until the actual wedding day:

Pre-Wedding Buttons.

The first thing we did was check the status of Frau Thum's flight from Germany. We were able to track it online and she was currently located in Canadian airspace. We noticed her departure was delayed an hour and the flight had not yet made up the time; so we adjusted our LAX arrival time accordingly.

We had a short list of errands to see to and promptly put our attention to them. The first was getting the car washed. We found a suitable facility and soon Karly looked fine indeed. We just got the basic wash, but when we saw he was deprived the cool rainbow colored detergent/wax stuff, we determined to spring for the deluxe package next time.

Karly's Bath.

Then we picked up a boquet of flowers & a little American flag to greet Frau Thum with at the airport (we also brought a German flag to wave as well). We grabbed a snack at Del Taco and I got a copy of one of the Del Taco bilingual comic books they're giving away in kids meals. We also got some cash for the LAX parking garage.

Our errands were finished sooner than we anticipated, so we returned home to find Frau Thum well into U.S. airspace, having just passed over Wyoming. We hung out awhile, then headed out to meet her at LAX.

While waiting at the International Terminal, a lady of some undeterminable ethnicity approached Sandra, seemingly upset that it might be possible for somebody to see up her (Sandra's) skirt. She insisted that Sandra sit more upright with her skirt pulled tightly over the knees; even though, in fact, there was no way whatsoever that anybody could have seen up her skirt, not even the kid that was at eye level with her knees.

The lady who nosed into our business.

To any conventional way of thinking, there was nothing improper about the way Sandra was sitting, but this woman apparently holds total strangers to unconventional expectations.

When Frau Thum's flight arrived, we waited for her appearance, approximately an hour as she had to go through customs and whatnot. We tried to guess arriving travelers' nationalities and had some success at it. When they started to look German, Sandra held out the German flag to see if it caught their attention. Nobody stopped to hail it, but about two-thirds of the German-looking travelers looked at it, possibly wondering if their plane had gone the wrong direction.

Frau Thum finally appeared and thought she was done with her long journey, but little did she know, the worst part of the journey still lay ahead. The freeways were packed and traffic was at a crawl. Frau Thum characterized the long drive from LAX to the OC as more unpleasant and time-consuming than the her long flight from Europe to California.

We finally checked into our motel and home for the week. Frau Thum got a discount on her 2-bed room when she told them only one person would be staying there, then Sandra stayed with her anyway. We went with a budget motel, since we were staying for quite a few days and really just needed a place to sleep. We were pleased to find a Denny's in the same parking lot as our motel. That convenience would be appreciated repeatedly throughout the week.

On to the malls of the OC where Frau Thum got shoes (which did not surprise Jonnie since she is Sandra's mother) and new cosmetics since she had to leave hers at the airport due to the latest terror alert.

Dinner: ToDai. An amazing selection of high quality Japanese food. Lots of good sushi and Jonnie got what he calls a "devilled crab", which is like a devilled egg in the sense that crab salad is packed into a crab's shell, which acts like a bowl.

Devilled Crab.

An Abundance of Little Japanese Deserts.

After dinner, we called it a night and planned to meet for breakfast the following morning.

My Lawyer, Jon David

2006-09-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

My lawyer, Jon David; attending to last minute wedding details.

My lawyer, Jon David (author of Content's "After Word") writes:

So, how's married life? I've noticed a dearth of blogging. Two interesting people meet blogging, then get married. And then there is blogging no more because they spend their evenings making out in the back of movie theaters all over town.

Well, there certainly has been a temporary dearth of blogging, so I thought I would respond with a post.

I am back to work and looking for potential archivist jobs when I have time.

Sandra is volunteering at a local cat shelter until she can obtain a U.S. work permit. She gets to update the agency's database and even gets to name cats that come into the agency without a name! I think she should name one "Jon David".
The Gilliom/Thum household loves katzen.

So we've been pretty busy plus we haven't bought our new computer yet, so blogging has gone to the back burner. Plus with a shared blog, I'm less apt to post random stuff that is probably only of interest to me; like my Los Manantiales Lechuguilla Mexican cactus juice label.

However, Sandra & I plan to post a day-by-day recreation of the wedding week for the sake of posterity. We'll probably post the first day soon. We shall call it Jonnie & Sandra's Wedding Narrative or something catchy like that.

Feel free to suggest a better title in the comments.

By way of preview, here is what Sandra's wedding ring looks like:

Sandra's Wedding Ring.

I love it. It is Black Titanium, which we were against buying at first because we heard it was an unstable metal. Then we discovered the bad accounts all applied to regular titanium with a black coating. This is a whole new alloy with no coating, it is black to the core. And such a hard metal! We could bang these rings against steel bars all day and they would still look brand new.

Mine is similar, but without the girly diamonds.
Black Titanium rocks.

And finally, here is my favorite photo of our lawyer, Jon David:

This picture is our current desktop.

We're back

2006-08-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

We're back from our hotel and there's so much to tell - I don't know where to begin. Jonnie and I had the most wonderful time, we had a beautiful wedding, the location was wonderful and everything, really everything went perfectly.

We'll post a lot of pictures as soon as we get them and as soon as this computer stops acting up (it's been HORRIBLE lately - hence the lack of posting and emailing), but we'll get a new one soon from our wedding money.

I tried to upload a couple of pics, but only one came through so far (computer crashes a lot or loses internet connection) and I'm losing my patience. So this'll be the only one for this post:

The newly wed couple! The gazebo was decorated beautifully and the sunset was amazing.

OK, gotta run now... many more pictures to come in the next days/ weeks!

Compelling Advertising, pt. 1

2006-08-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I stumbled across this tv ad from a Long Beach used car dealer.

The girl in red discusses each car model in an upbeat manner while her companion (the bear) bobs around behind her in a similarly upbeat manner.

Whenever she mentions the car's low price, the bear throws his hands up in complete disbelief that such a bargain is possible.

Then they do the same thing with another car, then another, then another...

I couldn't stop watching this.

If you want to make compelling advertising on a budget, you could do a lot worse than this.

Invitation

2006-08-13T08:42:00.000-07:00

Sandra & I were congratulating ourselves for eliminating a lot of the cost that comes with a traditional wedding when, for reasons I won't go into here, we had to come up with a formal invitation at the last minute.

I think we did a pretty good job. The most difficult part was finding a perfectly appropriate quotation, which was a lot harder than you'd think.

After extensive searching, we finally hit on a good one from Lord Byron -
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.

Perfectly appropriate.

[ J & S Wedding Invitation. ]

We liked it so much, we made extra copies; so to the few guests we invited - we will give you your invitation in person when you arrive in Cali.

OMG, it's all going down this week. Sandra's mom arrives from Germany on Wednesday, Brother Todd & family on Thursday, then Uncle Jon from Alaska and my lawyer Jon David from Texas on Friday.

On Saturday we hit the beach, tie the knot, and retire to Ti Amo Ristorante where we hope to sit where Mick Jagger sat when he dined there.

Then we will be writing to you as Mr. and Mrs. Rebel Leady Boy.

Irvine Spectrum Center

2006-08-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

[ Click to view larger image. ]

Ferris Wheel + Palm Trees = HELL YEAH!

Corny Chips

2006-07-30T11:34:00.000-07:00

[Note: This may be more appropriate for The 99 Cent Blog, but I have already posted over there today.]

Sandra & I had been resisting the temptation to purchase Pringles Prints (chips with jokes printed on them) pretty easily, until we saw them for 99 cents at the 99 Cent Store.

While reading the jokes made the chips last longer, it was more from a sense of curiosity than from any real entertainment value. The jokes were all pretty terrible.

This one is typical -

"What do sheep do on sunny days?"

"Have a baa-baa-cue."
Other typical jokes include:

What do you call a crate full of ducks?
- a box of quackers

What do you call a sleeping bull?
- a bulldozer

and, my favorite:

What do you call a surgeon with 8 arms?
- a doctorpus

I apologize for reproducing corny jokes on our blog, but you all might as well get used to them since we will probably be posting them on zonkboards everywhere for weeks to come.

If You Didn't See Soul Train Today -

2006-07-29T12:54:00.000-07:00

Here's what you missed -

Watching Soul Train is a Jonnie/Sandra Saturday afternoon tradition and it is especially entertaining when you turn down the television volume and play different music. It is amazing to watch the dancers gyrate to Boz's audioposts.

Trachten (sp?)

2006-07-14T05:54:00.000-07:00

Highlights of the Week -

*the car got smog tested, insured, and registered and is now totally legal.

*we got our marriage license

*Sandra got a dress

*while having dinner at our local Vietnamese restaurant, we were really impressed by their che desserts - sweet beans with coconut milk & ice + a few green gummies for color.

*a lady I always see on lunchbreak gave me a set of 22 religious CDs recorded by an OC pastor. They deal with the topic of marriage and so far they aren't particularly insightful or clever. It's all pretty commonsense. I think we'll just listen to the sex ones.

Dackel Races

2006-07-11T06:28:00.000-07:00

This weekend we made it to the dachshund races at the Old World Village in Huntington Beach -

Baby Dackel.
Although we generally prefer cats to dogs, we liked the weinerdogs so much, we brought one home with us -

Note - I am lying about bringing one home with us. The above photo depicts a different dackel who lives in the house we rent from. He was not at the race track and was not actually abducted from the racetrack by us.

The 4th

2006-07-05T04:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was thrilled to be home from work so I could watch the Germany/Italy World Cup match; but our local station wasn't airing the game. Fortunately, the Korean channel was covering the event; so we watched the game in Korean. My only problem with the Korean station was that they did not broadcast the game's overtime. They played a local restaurant review show instead. So we didn't see the game's unfortunate culmination.

German World Cup Team in Korean.
The rest of the day was spent in the pool -

Sandra mastered the Super Soaker

And Jonnie worked on his controversial diving form.
Not a lot of fireworks in Orange. The OC citizenry apparently prefers to commute to the public fireworks displays, none of which were visible from the house (though we can see the fireworks from Disneyland every night at about 9:30). It was nothing like when I lived in L.A. and the streets smelled like a battleground from everybody's DIY home fireworks events.

Attention! Attention!

2006-07-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

Jonnie & Sandra plan to officially marry on August 19 at 7:00pm on Laguna Beach.

We love the idea of an informal beach wedding as it involves a lot less trouble and expense. We want to keep it small and hassle-free as possible. We were vaguely planning to wed, but Sandra didn't want to announce it until I officially proposed. I finally did so last weekend (in wet pants), so it is now an official event.

I fully realize the irony of making a wedding announcement on Independence Day.

Death of Jose

2006-07-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

My crappy Infiniti is finally a thing of the past. I've been expecting the transmission to go out every time I've driving it for the last year and a half. The engine finally died last weekend and luckily it waited until our water park trip was over. It actually died just a couple blocks from our house and you can't really ask for a better situation than that.

Since the car had lots of other problems, I decided to not put any money into it, so we placed an ad on craigslist.

The first guy to look at it was Jose, who knew a mechanic and wanted a cheap vehicle he could fix up. Jose spent an evening pissing with it then asked us to hold it for him to tow away the following evening but then never showed up. We named the Infiniti "Jose" too, since they were both unreliable. I always said I wasn't attached to this car at all and I guess the fact that I hadn't named it previously proves it.

Jose pisses around with the Infiniti.

One of the craigslist inquiries on our answering machine had such poor pronunciation that I called him just to check if I understood his phone number correctly. He is the one who ultimately purchased Jose.

Sandra oversaw the transaction last Friday while I was at work and I wish I would've been there. She reports the man poured gas directly into the engine since the fuel pump was burned out. When the motor started, the transmission gave up the ghost for good with a horrible shrill squeel and an overbearing cloud of white smoke. Sandra is sure it must have woke up the entire block. She then clarified that Jose's price was negotiable. As it turns out, the man owns a used car business and was just interested in the motor anyway, so it was sold and everyone was happy.

Good riddance, Jose.

Germany : Argentina - 5:3

2006-06-30T14:43:00.000-07:00

Woooohooooooo!

Rolling, rolling, rolling

2006-06-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

Since I got my social security card in the mail on sunday (and can now get my driver"S license back) AND Jonnie's car died in the middle of the street whie we were driving, I figured it's about damn time that I'll get me some wheels.

And here goes:
The 1st purchase was a new Schwinn 7-gear beach cruiser bike.

Because of the large saddle and your riding position it's the perfect bike for fat-assed, unfit people. I love it. The saddle even has an S on it. The bike was a huge bargain too, because the bike-shop employee made a mistake and accidentally discounted it twice.

The 2nd purchase is a 1999 Chevy Cavalier Coupe, which we named "Karl-Heinz von Weisswurst", short "Karly".

Don't even bother to note the license plate number, I think of getting one of these vanity plates soon. I think it should read "GRRRMAN" or "S *heart* J" if I'm in a romantic mood... or whatever... . Suggestions are welcome!

While I'm typing this I should rather be reading the California DMV drivers' book since I'll be taking the written driver's test at the end of the week. But after reading rule #XYZ: "Don't honk at blind people!" I really needed a break.

On the Horizon

2006-06-25T07:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's water park trip was loads of fun, but I think it will be nothing compared to what we have in store for June 25 -

We will be attending the dachshund races!

The 11th Annual Weiner Nationals, to be precise.

The event is being held at the German themed Old World Village in Huntington Beach at 2:00pm and we will write a full review of the races.

Their next event will be a Lederhosen & Dirndl exhibition on July 9 with the Dachshunds racing again at 3:00. The first 500 people get free food!

Old World Village features full blown German restaurants and markets and it's a lot closer than Alpine Village in Torrence (our Oktoberfest destination during Sandra's 2004 visit); so we'll almost certainly be going there for Oktoberfest as well.

Here's a pic from last year's Oktoberfest at Old World Village -

Looks fun!

UPDATE -
OK, so we didn't get out to Huntington Beach for the 11th Annual Weiner Nationals today, but it's a sure thing we'll get to the July 9 event.

Laguna Out-take

2006-06-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

We'll be spending today in Buena Park at the Soak City waterpark and I don't think it's a good idea to bring the camera since it would probably get ruined.

So here's an extra beach pic from last weekend's outing -

Laguna Revisited

2006-06-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

Sandra and I drove out to our beloved Laguna Beach yesterday. I've been working in Laguna Hills since November, but have not been to the beach since I was there with Sandra two summers ago. It's still as lovely as ever.

[ Click to view larger image. ]

[ Click to view larger image. ]

[ Click to view larger image. ]

A dip in the ocean is the perfect way to kick off the weekend -

Plus we found money in the sand -

Lucky Money.
And to top it all off, we discovered a great candy store filled with barrels of all varieties of taffy and tons of European chocolates and gummies -

The Candy Baron.
I was introduced to a fine candy bar called the Lion which is readily available in Europe. I loved the packaging and Sandra vouched for the quality of the candy bar, so we went ahead and paid three dollars for a one euro candy bar with no regrets at all.

The Lion Bar.
The cost of the Lion bar was offset by the fact that we lucked into a rare $10 parking lot and didn't have to pay the more common $12-$13 rate. So it was much like stumbling across free candy.

Great Moments at Target, Part 1

2006-06-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

While browsing the toy isles, Sandra picks up one of those pin impression things and pushes it against the twins.

This is easily my favorite post ever.

Jonnie/Sandra, 2006

2006-06-16T05:05:00.000-07:00

All is well in Orange County.

Sandralein is here and should be adjusted to the climate soon.

She should have a social security number in a couple of weeks too, then we can really get things rolling.

In the meantime, we are entertaining ourselves spectacularly. More posts to come.
I need to get back in the habit of carrying my camera around with me.

While I'm at work, Sandra enjoys the swimming pool and is gradually getting a little sun.

She has seen a total of 4 lizards already.

More news as it develops.

coughcough

2006-06-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. Got a cold which is possibly fatal. At least that's how it feels.

Must've caught a mean American virus that my body's not used to. Possibly the freedom bug.

*coughcough*

Joooonnniiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!!!!!! Would you bring me my cough syrup, pleeeeaaase????!!! Yeah, the cherry flavored one!!!!!!! Cherrrrryyy!!!!!!!

Blog Reactivation

2006-06-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 1 year and 9 months since we last saw each other in person, but we went through the visa process and Sandra will finally be arriving in almost exactly one week - Saturday, June 10, at 1:05pm!

This is my last weekend as a bachelor and I feel like I should do something crazy. I weighed my options, but nothing sounded particularly satisfying. I think I will just do laundry and clean the bathroom instead. I wish I would've done that earlier.

I can't wait for my Liebling to get here!

Summer is Over

2004-09-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

Today Sandra will be leaving Orange and returning to Germany.

Her bags are nearly splitting at the seems and she's in for a LONG flight.

Jonnie is back to school -

Yuck.

The "Jonnie & Sandra" blog will resume on our next visit, until then, we'll be at our respective (and respectable) Black Bettie and Nacho Steppinstone blogs.

Camelot Revisited

2004-09-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

Ducklein golfed for the first time ever last night.

Camelot had some particularly challenging holes -

Example 1: There were numerous instances where veering a ball off-center would result in fishing it out of deep and dangerous waters.

Example 2: The most spectacular hole of all required hitting the ball up a ramp and over a running stream.

And if you're gonna have a fountain -

Why not make it a water dragon fountain?

Yay Camelot....thrilling dangerous Camelot!

Camelot

2004-09-18T01:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight we dropped by the Camelot Miniature Golf Course/Water Slide/Laser Tag place.

They have 5 different courses with 18 holes each, so we bought 18 holes then realized that if we don't play the last hole, it won't keep our ball so we can play another 18 holes for free; so that kept us busy for hours (we played about 60 holes, we estimate).

Highlights -
1. Sandra hit a kid with her golfball & then, after apologizing to his mother, she hit the same kid again.

2. Each hole was something special -

3. Sandra accidentally cut a worm in half with her putter.

4. Miniature Golfing is like making love to a woman - getting it in the hole - it's best to go slowly and softly.

5. Jonnie almost lost his ball numerous times after hitting it way outside it's appropriate area. He also left his glasses at one of the holes, but they were returned to him by a lady (the same one who's kid Sandra hit twice)!

6. Jonnie will now refer to Sandra as "Little Put-Put" to honor her considerable miniature-golf skills - she played remarkably well for somebody handicapped with a new tattoo on her ankle.

More Free Advice

2004-09-17T07:32:00.000-07:00

From Venice Beach -

Avoid Love - Get Drunk.

Jesus Doesn't Love You.

Wisdom Sucks / Vegas is Auschwitz.

Free Hugs.

This guy has a website too - Right Here

And To Top It All Off -

There was a bigass Alien sculpture made from welded steel.

Beach Report

2004-09-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

For yesterday's beach excursion, we decided to pay another visit to Santa Monica -

When we arrived (around noon), the famous "Muscle Beach" (where Governor Schwarzenegger used to hang out) was completely dead. You'd think those types would be early risers.

Instead, there was a huge engine lube demonstration being filmed, which was about as amusing to watch.

Game of Skill

2004-09-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

Picking up jello cubes with chopsticks is a lot harder than you might think.

Video Capture.
We thought the jello would be kind of sticky & it would be easy, but it was actually impossible.

Jonnie's Diving Arsenal

2004-09-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

Jonnie has been working on the art of the dive this summer.

His most ambitious dive was probably the "Superman" in which he would attempt to dive while holding his form similarly to popular renditions of Superman in flight.
Early Effort.
Perfect Superman Form.
Yesterday Jonnie spontaneously decided to try a backflip.
Surprisingly, it wasn't too bad. It was technically a proper backflip, but his form wasn't overly graceful.

Early Effort.
Video Screen Capture.

Post Card

2004-09-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

Look at this postcard we found in a little shop in Chinatown -

Can you believe somebody got paid to design that?

Oktoberfest Eve

2004-09-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the kickoff of Oktoberfest 2004 at Torrance, CA's "Alpine Village":

"Chosen by USA Today as one of the best Oktoberfests in the world!"
(and I assume "in the world" includes Germany).

MORE INFO HERE

Featuring "Master Sausage Maker Alex Lagger"

Click for Free Admission Coupon.

Ducklein On the Go

2004-09-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

If you ever wondered how ducklein gets around, he travels by purse -

Yesterday he wanted a "World Peacekeeper" action figure, complete with an arsenal of weaponry, but we said, "no" -

Click to view larger image.

Nacho Has Moved

2004-09-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

Jonnie's blog has relocated to http://jonnie711.blogspot.com

Please update any links accordingly.

International Crossroads

2004-09-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

Orange's "international crossroads" street fair started up last night and there was a HUGE turn-out! They named various streets after different countries, then set up food stands (and occasionally a live music stage) specializing in the cuisine or music of the country depicted on the above banner.

For example, here's Denmark Street -

They sold a Danish pastry there, but it wasn't a "Danish", I forget what they called it and it looked nothing like a "Danish".

Japanese Ginza -

2 Sushis for $4!! Forget it! It was no Fuji Grill, that's for sure.

And of course, there was a German Street -

But no German beer, oddly enough; just the usual American crap -

Sandra was appalled.

Sausages were easilly the most popular cuisine at the fair, chosen by the vendors of numerous "countries" -

Sandra informs me that in Germany, they "WOULD NEVER" eat sauerkraut on a bratwurst like a hotdog. I didn't know what to say to that, I thought that was the ONLY THING they ate!

The event soon swelled into a sea of people -

Navigating the streets became difficult, so after we saw everything once, we snuck off.

Other notable points (arranged chronologically) -

1. We would've never known about the street fair in the first place if we hadn't noticed an advertisement on a nearby bus stop. We decided to attend, spur of the moment.

2. Parking was $8 - $10, but Sandra & I are patient and drove around until we found a free spot a few blocks down the road.

3. On the walk from our parking area to the Street Fair, there were about 50 PARROTS (no lie!) in the street! They were LOUD and flying around like crazy. We think a pet truck must've wrecked or something. It was weird.

4. We passed a church on the walk to the festival, and they gave us each a free cold bottle of water.

5. Most major countries were represented at the Street Fair, with the notable exception of France, Russia, and Communist China.

6. As far as the live music goes, German Street was a lot more lively than the rest; rivalling Mexican Street. Though the coolest entertainment feature of all belongs to Switzerland Street - they held yodelling exhibitions - EVERY HOUR!

OH! And look at the shirt this guy wore to the "International Crossroads" -

"Don't F**K with the USA".
hahaha.....Kind of rude.

Chinatown Entertainment

2004-09-03T07:10:00.000-07:00

We went to chinatown on a better day than most, because on the walk back to our parking garage, we encountered a free cultural exhibition in chinatown square.

Here are some highlights -

Tai Chi / Dancing Routines.

Stunning Acrobatics!!
Yep, it was good to be Jonnie & Sandra that day.

The Gods were Pleased.

Dim Sum

2004-09-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

We returned to Chinatown for more automated Maneki Niko last weekend and decided to fill up on Dim Sum.

I hadn't dimsummed in over a year and the particular establishment we chose was oldschool, so there was a sense of danger. In addition to more accepted dumplings, this one still used chicken feet and giblets and god-knows-what in their dim sum. It's just people going around your table with carts full of little plates of 3 or 4 dumplings. You can ask what it is, but there is usually some degree of language barrier and the overall environment is pretty chaotic, so you usually can't hear your waitress very well. So there's a definite risk factor involved.

Post Dimsum Sandra.
Post Dimsum Jonnie.
We were doing pretty good until we bit into something with a terribly disturbing texture.
Sandra commented that it must be fish guts and then neither of us could finish it, because it felt exactly like fish guts might feel in your mouth, even though we didn't know what fish guts tasted like. It tasted like they were trying to disguise fish guts with something else, perhaps gravy.

So after that, we went with some very good Chinese pudding deserts, which were remarkable.

And look at this cool dim sum poster -

The wonderful world of dim sum.

TBBDC™ Star

2004-09-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

Ducklein made a Black Bettie Death Cult™ star.

Right there on Hollywood Blvd.

Yay, Black Bettie Death Cult™!

German Day

2004-08-30T09:34:00.000-07:00

Torrance's Alpine Village proclaimed August 29 to be "German Day", so of course we had to attend; first of all,to scout out next month's Oktoberfest grounds ("One of the greatest Oktoberfests in the World", according to the Alpine Village's website) and secondly, to test the Alpine Village's authenticity.
Giant Cuckoo Clock.
As you can see, it totally oozed authenticity.
They had a full blown German market full of imported German products, a deli counter stocked with all varieties of German meats & sausages, and a bakery area where they sold German pastries.
We bought a slice of Black Forest Gateau -

Good cake, but Sandra noted that it lacked the liquor that is traditionally included in the middle layer of cherries. We also dined on sauerbratten with potatos & cabbage.

I was amazed how heavy German bread is!! It's like a meal in itself.

And Sandra found this swell shirt for me -

We were pretty impressed by the large population of German speakers, Sandra even met a fellow Hamburger at the German magazine shop.

So any Southern Californians out there should be sure to drop by Oktoberfest in Torrance. It promises to be worth the drive.
You can consult Alpine Village's website Here.

It begins on September 11 and runs all the way until October 31!!

Storm Trooper Altercation

2004-08-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

Jonnie got into it with a storm trooper the other day.

Luckilly everything turned out alright, they are now great friends.

Sandra Wigs!

2004-08-27T11:45:00.000-07:00

They're selling Sandra wigs on Hollywood Blvd !!!

Hmm....

2004-08-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

Hey, Where's Hollywood?

I dunno...

Stalone

2004-08-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

One particular chinatown herb-shop boasts athentic photographs of action celebrity Sylvester Stalone visiting the establishment. They're hanging right on the front door.

With the Proprietor.
Up Close & Personal.
In Action at the Herb Counter.

Guacamole

2004-08-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

Guacamole tonight!

Avocados were $1.99 each at a local Orange market, but I stopped by my old market in East Los Angeles on the way home from Chinatown and avocados were 4 for 99 cents!

So we got 8 for the price of 2 and the guacamole tasted 4 times as good.

Chinatown

2004-08-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

We went out to L.A.'s China Town recently, to buy an automated Maneki Neko.

Although Maneki Neko are actually Japanese, they are way cheaper in Chinatown than in, say, Little Tokyo; or wherever the hell else you might find one.

They were on sale at one shop for $1.99 and we'll probably go back for more soon.

Once we had our automated Maneki Neko, we checked out the street market and a handful of shops.

Such as the traditional pharmacy where you can buy a piece of medicinal dried shark fin (for $199.99!)

Jonnie tries on a "Lucky Fat Healthy Boy" mask.

And we bought chips.

*Lobster Crackers (made from real lobster!)
*Seaweed Potato Chips
*and Nori Hineri

- All were satisfactory.

Good ol' Chinatown.

Soul Food

2004-08-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

Today we finally got out to So-Cal's famous Roscoe's House of Chicken & Waffles.

Waiting for a Table.

Chicken & Waffles go together a lot better than you'd think and they're waaaay filling.
Sandra had a quarter chicken w/ 2 waffles & Jonnie had the same, but with gravy over his chicken. We opted for breasts. Who wouldn't?

Yum!

Floating Prostheses

2004-08-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

We found a good deal on "pool noodles" since a local store is going out of business.

Now floating is easier than ever.

Even for Jonnie

Pics-On-the-Go

2004-08-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

Some snapshots taken from the comfort of our car, with no inconvenience whatsoever -

Drive-by view of the beach.

License Plate Manifesto.

Today shall be spent watching DVDs in our underwear, we're calling it "Naked Sunday".